Re-Gifting

Happy Birthday to me! It is midnight, the clock just turned to May 31st, and I am mumblemumble years old! I just got home a few minutes ago from hanging out with Eric in his neck of the woods, for what could be called a mutual birthday dinner, as he is a fellow Gemini, but what was basically just hanging out because we hadn't seen each other in awhile. I have done a complete turnaround from last night's rotten mood, which you don't know about because I was in too rotten of a mood to write, but trust me. Before I went to bed last night, I happened to check my horoscope online (Susan Miller is the best), and it said that come morning, Mercury would go direct (no longer be in retrograde). Now, I don't know exactly what "retrograde" means, as far as the physical sense of what happens to my ruling planet of Mercury, and just maybe after I finish writing this post I will Google it and tell you later (though of course if you are reading this, you either do know what it means or are probably Googling it yourself right now, so I may not bother). But what I DO know is that when Mercury is in retrograde, it not only screws things up for those signs like Gemini who are ruled by that planet, but for EVERYONE.

And Mercury has been in retrograde all month! So, if you have been in a bad mood, gained weight, lost a job, missed your flight, had a fight with your partner, kicked your cat, or gotten a speeding ticket - not your fault! Mercury was in retrograde!

But, finally, no mas! I'm in a good mood, all is right with the world, everything is coming up roses, and I can prove it! I had a VERY nice gift in my inbox when I got home (and NO, that is not a euphemism! Minds out of the gutter, please), and I am about to share it with you, and as you are such faithful readers, I am telling you FIRST. I am not calling Eric or Michelle or emailing all my actors, I am putting it out to you, right here, right now, right after I received this gift myself, I give it to you (and if those people love me anyway, they should have this blog wired somehow that a deafening alarm goes off on their cell phone every time I post something here):

"Smalltimore," has been accepted to the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival!

I can't tell you how excited I am about this! Best birthday weekend, and it has barely begun! Today I received a gorgeous floral arrangement from dear Mikey B., a box with gifts from my Mom, all from her recent trip to Russia, which included a fridge magnet, a bar of dark Russian chocolate, a silver ring, and best of all, a jar of real Russian caviar, of which I just indulged a celebrational spoonful! Plus got to hang out with Eric all evening, and tomorrow I am going to Charles Town Race Track with half a dozen friends for the Third Annual Duchess Stakes, a.k.a. Jeanie's (a.k.a. the Duchess of Mount Vernon) birthday, and have been promised several compilation CDs (my favorite birthday gift from my friends)!

AND my movie has been accepted at its second film festival!

Seriously, I need a moment (fans face with hands). And maybe another spoonful of caviar.

What is super-great about this, I hope, is that Philly is close enough that some of my cast, crew, friends, family, and fans can come to Philly and see "Smalltimore" in a festival atmosphere. I am leaving on Saturday for England, to go to our first fest, The Heart of England Festival, but unfortunately no one from the production could join me due to schedule and/or the expense. My friends Matthew and Jim are coming to Tamworth from London to see it with me, though, and I am looking forward to that.

But now I also get to look forward to seeing the film and having other people from the production (fingers crossed, I hope many of you will attend!) at a fun event that makes them feel like their efforts are appreciated by people other than me and our hometown fans.

There is something very special about having strangers approve of your creative work. Certain things in life you can only know if you experience them. There are some incredible, wonderful, exhilarating experiences that I will likely never have, and I know that no matter how much someone describes them to me, I won't get it - the birth a child, jumping out of an airplane, driving a race car 200+ miles an hour, winning the lottery... I can try to imagine it, but you just have to experience it. That doesn't make me jealous, I don't feel like I am missing out on anything, because those are things that, well, if you haven't done them then you don't know what you're missing so in effect you're not really missing out, in my opinion.

But, as an artist, I can tell you, if you are not an artist you will never know the joy of having a stranger "get it". It is wonderful to have your friends and family, all the people who love you, support you and tell you that you are wonderful and talented, and of course that counts for a whole lot. However, even if they are right, they are biased. They just are. But to have someone that you don't know from Adam tell you that whatever you created made them laugh, cry, or it somehow move them... feel it once, and you will live for those moments.

When I had my first B&W photography exhibit, my Dad wanted to be able to boast that he bought my first piece ever. He lived in Florida so he couldn't come to the show, so he had me pick out something that I thought would suit him. I chose an image of a stray black dog standing alone on a cobbled street in Pompeii, looking back at me over his shoulder. Something about his sad eyes, close to me in proximity but isolated, on some plane a world away, reminded me of my Father. It meant a lot to me that Daddy bought that picture. Over the phone I told him what the show price was and then told him the "family discount". He mailed me a check for the entire listed amount.

That was a special moment in my life, just like when my Mother more recently mailed me an unsolicited check to contribute towards the making of "Smalltimore". Those are things you never forget. But also are the moments you are totally unprepared for, like the first time a stranger bought a photograph of mine. Or the time that an artist, a good artist but someone I had never met before, bought a painting of mine, told me he loved it, had to have it. Within that exhibit I thought it was the worst of the bunch and was afraid it would out me as an imposter. Honestly, I don't even consider myself a painter. I couldn't believe it. I felt guilty taking his money, like I almost wanted to say, when you get home and realize it is a piece of crap, you can bring it to me for your money back. But I didn't say that, and I never saw the guy again.

I think most artists feel that way at first, and most artists have their first "stranger" sales burned into their brains. It makes you feel legit. At the "Smalltimore" premiere on May 3, in addition to all the love and energy that was created in that room by the people who know me and know how much I have put in and continue to put in to this production, I also got a charge and very much fed off of the good vibes I received from all the unfamiliar faces, many of whom approached me after the screening with warm, genuine smiles and handshakes.

So now I sally forth to Jolly Old England, not sure of what awaits me there. Will they get it? Will the American humor translate? I am excited, but also nervous. My game plan is that I arrive in Tamworth on Sunday, June 7th. This gives me three full days and nights to drink with as many locals as possible and bribe them to come to the screening. Marketing is a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. And since I will be the only Smalltimore rep there, I am the only one to do it!

I am so glad that the first (of many, knock on wood) domestic festival that "Smalltimore" will be screening in is in Philadelphia. I haven't spent a lot of time in Philly, but when I have been there, it seems to me to be a mash-up of both the best and worst parts of Pittsburgh and Baltimore. An observation, not a judgement. I like Philly, what I have seen of it. I am comfortable there and have always wanted to spend more time there, and now I have a chance to. That being said is simply a lengthy way of saying that, in addition to its geographical proximity to Baltimore, I think the mindset of people there is also similar, and I think (hope, pray) that a Philadelphia audience will "get it".

But I am fully prepared to get there early and drink with the locals in order to hedge my bets.


The Philadelphia Independent Film Festival is the weekend of June 25-28. Mark your calendars!