UnchartED Waters

[Me at Dingman's Falls in the Poconos, near Mikey's cabin. Just cuz.]

Well... this is a feeling I don't quite know what to do with. I am finding myself... relaxed. There is nothing at this very moment that I should be doing, or need to have already done. My computer is tied up right now, burning DVDs from the duplicator, so I can't get online. I am typing this as a text file and I will cut and paste it later. I am actually kind of bored at the moment. I don't have anything to... stress about. Except, you know, my credit card balances, but they are what they, and hopefully I can put a big dent in them and recoup some of that next week. But right now... the Charles Theater is reserved for the screening. The Wind-Up Space is reserved for the DVD Release Party afterwards. I don't think I mentioned it before, but when I first called Russell DeoCampo, owner of The Wind-Up Space, about a month ago to see if the date was available, it wasn't. Another group who regularly holds events there had something scheduled for that evening. But, they are friends of Russell's so he did me a gigantic favor (he offered, I didn't ask) and called them and got them to reschedule on another night (since the date at The Charles was locked), which they graciously agreed to do. Russell is awesome like that.

All the graphic design stuff is done. That was A LOT. I drove Kyle crazy for more than two weeks. He put together the (two-sided) postcard, the poster, the DVD disc art, the DVD cover art, and the movie ticket stub art for me. His reward in Heaven shall be great. I just picked up the posters and postcards today, and ordered the DVD covers and tickets. They should be ready by Friday. Tomorrow I will start plastering the town with the posters and postcards.

I did put out a press release with a DVD screener at the beginning of the month to the local publications (The Sun, City Paper, Urbanite, Baltimore Magazine) but haven't heard anything back. I am sure it is too late for the magazines, but maybe the papers will still put out a review for me this week, so keep an eye out. Can't hold a gun to anyone's head. I hope at least one of them will come through for me. I do have an interview on Maryland Morning (WYPR) early next week, can't wait for that!

And most importantly, since this is a DVD Release Party, after all, I am well into the process of duplicating DVDs. Refer back to the maxed out credit cards. But, I have to believe I will recoup that. Filmmaking is like religion, there are huge leaps of faith at every turn. With all the people that were involved in the making of "Smalltimore," and others who have done me "Smalltimore" related favors since, I probably have to hand out about 200 DVDs just to keep my promises, before selling a single one. And based on all the people that have been asking me for months when they could buy one, I hope to sell a couple hundred more on top of that. So by the time I am up to around 400 or so DVDs necessary... only made sense to buy a duplicator myself. I still have to make 50 or so DVDs of The Red-Headed Menace on top of that, for the people who worked on that production and have been waiting to get their hands on a DVD. I'll admit I am a bit proud of myself for figuring this little machine out! It has become my new best friend. Sometimes it decides to stop cooperating, but if I am nice to it, most often I set it all up and then go about my business and I come back later to be rewarded with a stack of DVDs, burned, labeled, and ready to go. It's lovely.

So that's almost everything! When I get the DVD covers from the printer, Cheryl Scungio (Gracie) and Kelly Coston (Mel) have volunteered to come over and help me put everything together. Demanded to help would probably be more accurate. When Cheryl came over for the photo shoot for the promo art, she told me she would help and volunteered Kelly as well. This past Friday Cheryl stopped by to drop off payment for a slew of theater tickets (she recently told me that she had not allowed any of her friends to come to the May 3rd screening at The Wind-Up Space, because she couldn't be there), plus some DVDs and posters. She wagged her finger at me and said, "You better not let me find you buried under a mountain of jewel cases!" It'll be fun, having her and Kelly over. I'll get some wine and we'll knock the whole thing out pretty quickly and talk about boys.

I remember at the beginning of all this (two years ago now!), Sean Stanley, who was my rock, my consultant, and my sounding board throughout pre-production especially (but through to present day as well), asked me to answer a long list of questions honestly including, "How much are you willing to sacrifice for the project? Are you willing to max out your credit cards? Sell your belongings? Suck the proverbial dick?" I said yes, because I knew that was the right answer. I didn't think I'd actually have to do all of that, though. I was really good with my credit cards then, had good-sized limits but most of them had very small balances, and actually I only had a few at the time. So my credit was really good, which helped me to acquire a few more cards. And every single one of them is maxed out right now, and they lower my limits whenever they can. I had three yard sales over the summer, ruthlessly culling everything from my wardrobe to my book collection. And last year I even sold off my dark room equipment, every bit of it. No regrets. And the dick? Well, I don't know what to tell you about that. I've certainly kissed some ass. But that is necessary at some point in any area of business. I don't have to pucker as much now as I had to in the beginning, when I was largely dependent on the kindness of strangers. And that's nice. Most of it now is just making sure that I take the time, even if I have to make the time, to appreciate everyone who helps me along the way. I really do try very hard not to let any of that slip through the cracks, and let people know how much their support means to me.

I can tell you this, as I sit alone in my apartment, staring at stacks of DVDs and hoping I can find a $20 bill in an old coat pocket so I can go out for a couple beers at some point this week: I am happy. I mean, I am usually a pretty happy person anyway, but, above and beyond, I am really, really happy. I can't go anywhere without people hounding me about the screening, and everyone seems genuinely excited about it. If there is one thing I love to do, it is to throw a great party, and I know that next Wednesday night is going to blow anything I have ever done out of the water. I can't wait.

The other evening I thought to myself, is it maybe just a little sad that I don't have one special person (i.e., boyfriend) to share this with right now? I mean, it is just a whole lotta happy and that would make it even better, wouldn't it? But, funny enough, I knew right away, no, that wouldn't make it better, I've just seen too many sappy holiday commercials lately. This is way too big to share with just one person. This doesn't just belong to me. It is a triumph (yea, I said it) for so many people that worked so hard to make this happen, and I am especially proud of the artists and musicians and cast who gave everything of themselves to help me manifest this image of our Baltimore. The finished product is so close to what I wanted to show the world, the Baltimore that I love, that I would be hard-pressed to tell you what I would do differently. When my friend Adam from L.A. saw "Smalltimore," he actually got misty because he said, "While I was watching it, I was thinking, wow, that must be what it is like to have a big group of friends. You don't have that in L.A." Last week I was on the phone with one person from my big group of friends, my friend Ken, who was helping me to make some beer connections for the party. Ken had seen "Smalltimore" at the May 3rd screening at The Wind-Up. He said, "I never got a chance to say... so proud," (Ken gets misty, too). He paused for a moment and then said, "It's... us!" That was probably the best review I possibly could have asked for.

I have had a few people, very few, but they are out there and their opinions are valid, who did not like the movie, and even a few who did not like it a whole lot. That's okay. It would be statistically impossible for that not to be the case. Sometimes it is hard to shake off a scathing review when you have put all of your heart and soul into something, but it is part of the whole that cannot be avoided. What makes me able to shake it off is that I don't have one special person to share this with; I have hundreds (literally - watch the credits - and that's just the tip of the iceberg) of special people to share this with, because they are all a part of it. They are the people that made me fall in love with Baltimore. And they are the same people that sometimes make me remind them why they themselves love Baltimore. And that's why I made this movie. It's... us!

The Mother of All Line-Ups

[Very happy Madame Director]

I have thrown some KILLER parties in my time, ask anyone, but Ladies & Gentlemen, I have outdone myself.

I am ecstatic to announce that the SWEEEEET line-up for the Smalltimore screening post-party at the Wind-Up Space (Charles & North Ave) on Wednesday, December 9th(immediately following the 7:00pm screening of "Smalltimore" at The Charles Theater) is:

9:15-9:40pm Jen Swartout
9:50-10:15 Lauren Young
10:30-11:15 T.T.Tucker & the Bum Rush Band
11:30-11:55 Reina Williams
12:10-1:00am The Remnants

Don't be late! NO COVER!!! CDs for sale!

Smalltimore Soundtrack Details Released!

[Soundtrack artists T.T.Tucker and Jen Swartout - photo by Richard Payne]

For all those who have been asking, here is the detailed list of the soundtrack and the artists' sites that you can find (most of) the songs on. Currently I have no plans to produce the soundtrack on CDs as that takes time and money I don't have at the moment. Plus, I'd like the artists to be able to get all the money themselves, and you can find some more of their songs that you like in the process! I will also try to keep you posted on the fan page as to when these bands and solo artists are performing locally. They are all even better in person, so please get out there and support them. A lot of them are on Facebook and MySpace, friend them so you can keep up with them also.

Here you go, the info you need to create your own soundtrack! I've identified the scenes so that I don't release any spoilers, but if you have seen the movie you will know what I am talking about. Enjoy!

T.T.Tucker & the Bum Rush Band
www.tttucker.com
Natty Boh (opening scene at Dougherty's)
That Was Then/This Is Now (1st scene at Wind-Up)
How Did We Survive (2nd scene at Wind-up)
Garden of Stone (3rd scene at Wind-Up)
See You On the Other Side (not yet released)(driving scene)
Move It Along (background at party)
Looking at You, Looking at Me (background at party)
America Is One Tough Town (not yet released)(final Tucker song at party)

The Remnants
www.theremnants.com, also on FB and MySpace
Nobody Home (Wind-Up background into 1st scene at gallery)
Wastin' Time (1st date scene on couch)
Save The World (Dougherty's scene with the Voice of Reason)
Small Circles (background song at Dougherty's)
Easier (confrontation scene at Gracie's house)
Everything's Good (Drew & Thom's heart-to-heart into Monument scene)
I'm a Man (Tony's front porch)
Ain't Got a Lot (Wind-Up Space background, Darik exits)
One Horse Town (Wind-Up Space background, Gracie & Thom talk)
Stand My Ground (Wind-Up Space, band exits)
Take This Ride (Courthouse ext into party scene)

Jen Swartout
www.myspace.com/jenswartout (also on FB)
Tell Her This (Darik & Gracie talk at Dougherty's)
She's So Beautiful (Gracie arrives at Mel's apartment)
Easter Sunday (post-fight montage)

Joyce J. Scott
(no website but I can connect you if you'd like her CD)
Breathe (Mrs. T's discovery)
Ho, Sally (Mrs. T's snack)
Crimes (Committed in the Name of Love)(finale)

Niki Lee
www.nikilee.com
Bohemia (opening credits)
Patterson Place (background song at party)
Triolets (slow dance at party)

Lawnchair
www.myspace.com/lawnchair
Top Down (background at 1st scene in Dougherty's)
Hard to Swallow (parking lot fight)

The Degenerettes
www.thedegenerettes.com
Get Out (first date dinner)
Baltimore (sushi restaurant)

Lauren Young (also on FB)
www.myspace.com/laurenyoungmusic
Second Best (pool room at Dougherty's)
Pretty Girls (Tony's front porch,morning)

Lazerbitch (also on FB)
www.myspace.com/lazerbitch
Do Me Wrong (Dionysus scene, Angela arrives)

Reina Williams
www.myspace.com/reinawilliams (also on FB)
Just Move (Wind-Up scene into Bentley's apartment)

and

Brynn McCoy
(contact Reina for this one, as she produced it)
Fuck You (Angela and Drew talk at Dougherty's)

Third Time, Getting More Charming

The strangest thing happened a couple of days ago. I started editing, taking a third pass at the movie... and I am not even at the threshold of a deadline!!! I mean, there is one coming up pretty quick, but it is not even the 8th hour, let alone the eleventh. Hmm, I wondered, what gives?

Well, it is not that hard to figure out, really. It is, I am, all about the music right now. Recently Libby, "Lazerbitch" Picken and The Degenerettes joined the cause, and I couldn't wait to find a spot to fit their tunes into. Then on Saturday I went to see The Remnants perform at Cat's Eye (they are there again on 3/27, you must go!!!). Tom Boynton, their singer, songwriter, self-appointed Benevolent Dictator, sent me several shout-outs regarding the movie during their sets. I don't care who you are, having the band say your name onstage is a good feeling, not to mention boku cool points. (Do people say "boku" anymore? Damn, I may just have sent myself into negative points...)

It is simply astounding the difference that music can make when it is perfectly paired with a scene. It is hard to figure out the sound levels, so I have been watching other romantic comedies that have bar and restaurant scenes to help me make educated guesses. Another lesson learned... don't forget that if there is supposed to be music in the background, have your actors talk loudly during taping (when you, of course, have silence in the background).

But what has been happening this week has been very cool... I find myself actually craving to watch a scene that I know I have found the exact perfect song for, when as of just a few weeks ago I was pretty sick of looking at the whole thing and was getting bored of it. But now I have found yet another challenge, another puzzle, and as the pieces fall into place I find it immensely satisfying.

Another facet of that satisfaction is me wanting to make dead certain that all of these musicians who have gotten on board are, in the end, absolutely proud of being associated with "Smalltimore." That, in regards to the actors and crew, was a driving force during the first months of editing. I hadn't expected or thought about that happening again with the musicians. But it is just what I needed to happen.

I think it was seeing Tom onstage saying my name (now I just have to get him to say the name of the film :) ) that did it for me. I've known his music for a decade and have such respect for him and his talent. To see him so tickled, and proud, when I told him I want to use at least six of The Remnants songs, well... it touched me. He hasn't seen anything more than the trailer, and he barely knows me, and he agreed whole-heartedly to do this. I can't let him down.

The last week and a half have been lots of fun, I have been out almost every night, catching up with friends old and new (and the Steelers kicking this period off by winning the Super Bowl for me - that's right, just for me - didn't hurt my mood one bit). I have been so far off the grid for so long, or at least it feels that way, that I was afraid that when I finally came up for air that all my friends would be mad at me or have forgotten me altogether. It has been quite the opposite, and additionally my social skills have not seemed to degrade at all, so that is a good thing. Gives me hope, because I need to get back to business soon, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and then it will be time to start narrowing down the festivals to submit to. It is all good, and though my sleep patterns have still not quite recovered, when I do find myself watching the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling over my bed fade in the wee hours, I am often aware there is a smile on my face.

The Wire

As in, "Down to the..." I did manage to submit Smalltimore to the Maryland Film Festival on the final day possible. Since my wireless still wasn't (and isn't) working, and my parking lot was a sheet of ice so I couldn't move my car, I had to walk my freezing butt half a mile to the Enoch Pratt Library and stand at a computer to submit through WithoutaBox.com, then walk another half mile or more to the main Post Office building so I could get it postmarked that day.

From there I walked down to the Inner Harbor, just cuz I COULD, now that I had met my deadline. I burned a gift card at Barnes & Noble, had lunch, and cabbed it home.

One of my purchases was Carrie Fisher's new autobiographical, "Wishful Drinking." I read the whole thing that evening, which was not a big feat, it was less than 200 pages and a pretty quick read. It was good, but having read her novels I was a little disappointed. She is my favorite author. Yep, Princess Leia, believe it or not. She wrote "Wishful Drinking" after going through electro-convulsive therapy (which she now swears by, despite it erasing huge chunks of her memory). She has spent most of her life as a mess, so I am glad for her as a person that she is finally feeling better. But as a writer... I think she was better when she was miserable.

That's the way it seems to go for most artists, though. I know that I usually do my own best writing when I am terribly upset or depressed. My problem, artistically speaking, is that I am hardly ever all that upset or depressed. But I have been told that I am a good storyteller. It took me a long time how to figure out how to tell a long, good story (i.e., write a screenplay) without suffering much for it. Well, maybe that is not the right way of putting it. Many of the storylines in Smalltimore are based on my own experiences, and not all of them were fun to go through. But I think (hope) I have successfully found a way to put a funny spin on even the tragic moments. Time and audiences will be the judges of that.

I have been listening a lot lately to one of my favorite local bands, The Remnants, who are on board to be on the soundtrack. I first got to know their music within my first year of living in Baltimore, over a decade ago. My first friends in Baltimore, Joe, Chris, and Bradley (aka The Wine Guys) used to take me down to the Cat's Eye Pub in Fells Point to hear The Remnants and other live music. I have never seen a bad band there, and there is never a cover charge.

Until a couple weeks ago, I only owned one Remnants CD, "Double Wide", but now I also have their latest works, "American Grit" and "As/Is", and just yesterday received in the mail "Songs for Sale", which I bought online at cdbaby.com. It usually takes me listening to a CD the whole way through a couple times before I know if I like it or not, but it doesn't take me long to warm up to anything by The Remnants. It is all good stuff, but my personal favorite is still "Double Wide", probably largely due to those tunes taking me back to my early days in Charm City. Maybe I am just remembering things the way I want to, but I feel like I didn't have so much responsibility then, just regular work stuff and the rest of my time was spent having fun. That is what "Double Wide" sounds like to me, too. Those songs are either just plain fun, like, "Ain't Got a Lot," or some of them are very sweet ballads, my favorite being, "Take This Ride."

Some reviews I have read online about "American Grit" tout this CD as The Remnants' most personal and most political work to date. It is rocking good stuff, with a lot of energy and musical depth. Almost all of the songs are at a pretty quick pace, but I prefer the slower ones, and on this CD I think my favorite is, "Everything's Good," though I really love, "Happy, Too" as well. A lot of the songs on "American Grit" make references to the war(s), politicians, etc, but not so much that they are depressing or anything.

I don't know what I am trying to say here, because Tom Boynton (who writes all of The Remnants' songs) kind of disproves my earlier point, as his pre-9/11 stuff is just as good as his post-9/11 work. I prefer the non-political songs, because for me, music is an escape from the crappy things in life. But as an artist, and especially as a writer, I understand the need to express it. I very recently came across a journal I started immediately after 9/11. At the time, I couldn't really talk to anyone about it, it was just too much. But I wrote about it, a lot. Some people exorcise their demons by painting, dancing, working out, whatever. I write. Reading over those things that I wrote seven and a half years ago... I had forgotten how much it hurt, how engulfing those times were, how black, and bleak. Writing it all down was what helped me to forget that pain, but also what helps me to remember it.

I'm not sure how this all connects, I am just being very stream-of-consciousness right now, because, for a short window, I have the luxury to do so. I still have many, many hours worth of editing to do on my next pass at Smalltimore, but I am taking a little break this week before hitting it again. Last night I went to the CAMM Salon/CineLounge at the Creative Alliance, saw some friends and met some new contacts, and then afterwards went out for drinks with my friend Kerra. It was almost like I had a life again! And tonight I'll see Eric for a bit, tomorrow sushi with Greg, Thursday Allison Pasarew's art exhibit at Dougherty's, Friday drinks with Caren at the Wind-Up Space, and Saturday, guess what, The Remnants are playing at Cat's Eye again! So, you should come out take a listen for yourself. Don't forget to bring some bills for the tip jar (don't be stingy, you get in for free!) and to buy a CD if you are so inclined. I promise you will not be disappointed!

School of Rock

Argh! Wireless problems AGAIN. I am actually writing this from my neighbor's house, as I had some email that I HAD to get out for my other job (the paying one). It is probably for the best, though, because it is really coming down to the wire and I have to be completely done with this round of editing by tomorrow. I have put more than 40 hours into it since Saturday, including 12 straight hours of color correction on Wednesday with Michelle. She has a helluva lotta patience, I tell you what.

Watching the whole thing through with her, veeeerrryyy slowly, I saw some more little glitches I wanted to correct, and a WHOLE lot of sound issues. So yesterday was watching the whole thing straight through in real time and making notes, including what songs might possibly fit in scenes I had not put any music in yet, and THEN 8 straight hours of dealing with sound and songs and a few more video cuts. So almost 10 hours yesterday, and I'll probably log that many today.

Last night I stopped at almost 4:00am, about halfway through the movie. Tonight (I can't seem to get any work done until the sun goes down, I don't know why, I just can't seem to concentrate before that)should go a bit faster, as I already have most of the music laid in in the second half. But the sound is terrible, I have everything maxed out because I wasn't paying attention to the little meter that tells you that when I first did it. I am sure there are much more technical terms for all this, but I don't know them and it will only confuse those of you who might if I try to guess.

For a movie like "Smalltimore," you don't really realize how much music goes into a feature length film until you are the one trying to lay out this giant puzzle and make it all work. I have about 85 to 90 scene changes. Almost all of them require some sort of music in the background. Think about that.

See, when I was first mulling over how much music I would need, I thought, 95 minute movie, songs average 2-3 minutes, not every scene needs music, so, what, 20 songs? Maybe 30? I have close to 30 songs laid in already and can probably use 20 more, PLUS some scoring inbetween. Songs might average 2-3 minutes, but most scenes are 30 to 90, MAYBE 120 seconds in a movie. Lucky for me I have some longer scenes, or scenes that kind of connect so I can cheat and bleed one song from one scene to the next. It is a LOT of work.

The biggest nightmare, though, is layering all the sound. No wonder the pros charge so much! In any given bar scene I have to layer the dialogue of the characters, room tone, background chatter, and music. The levels of all of these have to be measured out so that it sounds natural, but so that you can still understand all of the dialogue. If the microphone wasn't in the right place or if the actor moves their head around (away from the mic) then you really have to screw around with it, sometimes phrase by phrase or even word by word. And if the music is a live band instead of just piped-in bar music, that is a whole 'nuther animal.

Eventually, I will probably have a pro take a pass at it, but for now, it is just me. Have to do my taxes first and see if I have any money left over for such luxuries (not bloody likely). But though it is very difficult, I am glad to have my hands all over it. While we were doing color correction Wednesday, Michelle asked me if I felt I knew a lot more now than I did before we started production. I laughed and said, "You're joking, right? I am still learning something new every single day!" And that is what I love about it, even the really crappy stuff that is mind-numbingly tedious. At the end of all this (assuming there is an end to this project) I will have learned more than I could have possibly imagined I ever would have. I know this to be a fact, because I still have a long way to go and I have already learned that much.

11:15

By now you know I am beyond an 11th hour kind of person (as is almost every artist friend I have, so I don't feel too guilty about it - I always deliver), and I am finally back in full edit mode. I spent more than seven hours straight last night going over the first 65 minutes of the movie, and I think I lopped off 5 to 8 minutes, which is GREAT. It is so much tighter already. Today I have to go through the remaining 35 minutes and I hope to slice another 4-5 minutes off there. I've only lost a few lines that weren't working, it is mostly shortening pauses or taking out a few things that were redundant or overly expositional. I tell you what, it is a LOT tighter already, and I can't bear the thought of ever watching the rough cut straight through again, it makes me cringe. I am very happy for what it was - a rough cut - but it is time to move on to the next level.

Then I have to lay in the music, and I know that I will need a whole 'nuther pass at the movie after this one because I have been bombarded with Baltimore musicians wanting to be on the soundtrack, on top of the ones I have solicited, and now I have way too much good stuff to choose from! It is a GREAT problem to have, though. I am happy with the movie, I think it is as entertaining romantic comedy with some great performances, and I think it is a little different in how many local artists' work I managed to show off through the course of it. But bottom line, it is a romantic comedy, not anything groundbreaking - but the soundtrack is going to be OFF THE HOOK.

Some of these musicians are my friends, some are friendly acquaintances, and some I have just met. I am so glad to have the opportunity to show them off as well as the visual artists in the movie. When I first started making friends within the creative community of Baltimore, almost 11 years ago, I was so blown away by the talent here, on all fronts. I can't tell you how many people I have met, and still know, and sometimes I just look at them and wonder, "How the hell aren't you famous?" as well as, "How lucky am I to know you?"

Music to My Ears

Okay, the only thing cuter (and more addicting) than cute kitten videos is baby panda bear videos. Argh.

Gotta buckle down this week and whip out these edits, so I hope to get completely snowed in. Michelle is helping me with color correction and other issues one week from today, which is great, I need that deadline.

More good news on the soundtrack front. I'm talking with The Remnants and also Tatiana "Reina" Williams, and it looks like they are on board. I'm almost afraid the soundtrack is going to outshine the movie! With them, T.T.Tucker & the Bum Rush Band, Joyce J. Scott, Jennifer "Juice" Swartout, and a few other locals, this thing is going to be off the HOOK. I'm so psyched.