Re-Gifting

Happy Birthday to me! It is midnight, the clock just turned to May 31st, and I am mumblemumble years old! I just got home a few minutes ago from hanging out with Eric in his neck of the woods, for what could be called a mutual birthday dinner, as he is a fellow Gemini, but what was basically just hanging out because we hadn't seen each other in awhile. I have done a complete turnaround from last night's rotten mood, which you don't know about because I was in too rotten of a mood to write, but trust me. Before I went to bed last night, I happened to check my horoscope online (Susan Miller is the best), and it said that come morning, Mercury would go direct (no longer be in retrograde). Now, I don't know exactly what "retrograde" means, as far as the physical sense of what happens to my ruling planet of Mercury, and just maybe after I finish writing this post I will Google it and tell you later (though of course if you are reading this, you either do know what it means or are probably Googling it yourself right now, so I may not bother). But what I DO know is that when Mercury is in retrograde, it not only screws things up for those signs like Gemini who are ruled by that planet, but for EVERYONE.

And Mercury has been in retrograde all month! So, if you have been in a bad mood, gained weight, lost a job, missed your flight, had a fight with your partner, kicked your cat, or gotten a speeding ticket - not your fault! Mercury was in retrograde!

But, finally, no mas! I'm in a good mood, all is right with the world, everything is coming up roses, and I can prove it! I had a VERY nice gift in my inbox when I got home (and NO, that is not a euphemism! Minds out of the gutter, please), and I am about to share it with you, and as you are such faithful readers, I am telling you FIRST. I am not calling Eric or Michelle or emailing all my actors, I am putting it out to you, right here, right now, right after I received this gift myself, I give it to you (and if those people love me anyway, they should have this blog wired somehow that a deafening alarm goes off on their cell phone every time I post something here):

"Smalltimore," has been accepted to the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival!

I can't tell you how excited I am about this! Best birthday weekend, and it has barely begun! Today I received a gorgeous floral arrangement from dear Mikey B., a box with gifts from my Mom, all from her recent trip to Russia, which included a fridge magnet, a bar of dark Russian chocolate, a silver ring, and best of all, a jar of real Russian caviar, of which I just indulged a celebrational spoonful! Plus got to hang out with Eric all evening, and tomorrow I am going to Charles Town Race Track with half a dozen friends for the Third Annual Duchess Stakes, a.k.a. Jeanie's (a.k.a. the Duchess of Mount Vernon) birthday, and have been promised several compilation CDs (my favorite birthday gift from my friends)!

AND my movie has been accepted at its second film festival!

Seriously, I need a moment (fans face with hands). And maybe another spoonful of caviar.

What is super-great about this, I hope, is that Philly is close enough that some of my cast, crew, friends, family, and fans can come to Philly and see "Smalltimore" in a festival atmosphere. I am leaving on Saturday for England, to go to our first fest, The Heart of England Festival, but unfortunately no one from the production could join me due to schedule and/or the expense. My friends Matthew and Jim are coming to Tamworth from London to see it with me, though, and I am looking forward to that.

But now I also get to look forward to seeing the film and having other people from the production (fingers crossed, I hope many of you will attend!) at a fun event that makes them feel like their efforts are appreciated by people other than me and our hometown fans.

There is something very special about having strangers approve of your creative work. Certain things in life you can only know if you experience them. There are some incredible, wonderful, exhilarating experiences that I will likely never have, and I know that no matter how much someone describes them to me, I won't get it - the birth a child, jumping out of an airplane, driving a race car 200+ miles an hour, winning the lottery... I can try to imagine it, but you just have to experience it. That doesn't make me jealous, I don't feel like I am missing out on anything, because those are things that, well, if you haven't done them then you don't know what you're missing so in effect you're not really missing out, in my opinion.

But, as an artist, I can tell you, if you are not an artist you will never know the joy of having a stranger "get it". It is wonderful to have your friends and family, all the people who love you, support you and tell you that you are wonderful and talented, and of course that counts for a whole lot. However, even if they are right, they are biased. They just are. But to have someone that you don't know from Adam tell you that whatever you created made them laugh, cry, or it somehow move them... feel it once, and you will live for those moments.

When I had my first B&W photography exhibit, my Dad wanted to be able to boast that he bought my first piece ever. He lived in Florida so he couldn't come to the show, so he had me pick out something that I thought would suit him. I chose an image of a stray black dog standing alone on a cobbled street in Pompeii, looking back at me over his shoulder. Something about his sad eyes, close to me in proximity but isolated, on some plane a world away, reminded me of my Father. It meant a lot to me that Daddy bought that picture. Over the phone I told him what the show price was and then told him the "family discount". He mailed me a check for the entire listed amount.

That was a special moment in my life, just like when my Mother more recently mailed me an unsolicited check to contribute towards the making of "Smalltimore". Those are things you never forget. But also are the moments you are totally unprepared for, like the first time a stranger bought a photograph of mine. Or the time that an artist, a good artist but someone I had never met before, bought a painting of mine, told me he loved it, had to have it. Within that exhibit I thought it was the worst of the bunch and was afraid it would out me as an imposter. Honestly, I don't even consider myself a painter. I couldn't believe it. I felt guilty taking his money, like I almost wanted to say, when you get home and realize it is a piece of crap, you can bring it to me for your money back. But I didn't say that, and I never saw the guy again.

I think most artists feel that way at first, and most artists have their first "stranger" sales burned into their brains. It makes you feel legit. At the "Smalltimore" premiere on May 3, in addition to all the love and energy that was created in that room by the people who know me and know how much I have put in and continue to put in to this production, I also got a charge and very much fed off of the good vibes I received from all the unfamiliar faces, many of whom approached me after the screening with warm, genuine smiles and handshakes.

So now I sally forth to Jolly Old England, not sure of what awaits me there. Will they get it? Will the American humor translate? I am excited, but also nervous. My game plan is that I arrive in Tamworth on Sunday, June 7th. This gives me three full days and nights to drink with as many locals as possible and bribe them to come to the screening. Marketing is a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. And since I will be the only Smalltimore rep there, I am the only one to do it!

I am so glad that the first (of many, knock on wood) domestic festival that "Smalltimore" will be screening in is in Philadelphia. I haven't spent a lot of time in Philly, but when I have been there, it seems to me to be a mash-up of both the best and worst parts of Pittsburgh and Baltimore. An observation, not a judgement. I like Philly, what I have seen of it. I am comfortable there and have always wanted to spend more time there, and now I have a chance to. That being said is simply a lengthy way of saying that, in addition to its geographical proximity to Baltimore, I think the mindset of people there is also similar, and I think (hope, pray) that a Philadelphia audience will "get it".

But I am fully prepared to get there early and drink with the locals in order to hedge my bets.


The Philadelphia Independent Film Festival is the weekend of June 25-28. Mark your calendars!

Bitter Pill/Better Solution

[Al Letson in "Smalltimore," playing himself: "The Voice of Reason".}

It was the worst of news, it was the best of news... brace yourself, I am going to rip the band-aid off quickly, and it is going to sting a bit: "Smalltimore," was not accepted at the Maryland Film Festival.

Dear Filmmaker,

Thank you for submitting your film for consideration in the 2009 Maryland Film Festival. Our screening committee members have given careful consideration to all submissions. Unfortunately, your work was not chosen to be a part of this year’s Maryland Film Festival.

Over the last few years, we have experienced a dramatic increase in submissions, due in part to our association with the Without a Box entry-facilitating web site. As a result, each year we also see an increasing number of films that we were fond of but simply could not find a place for in our schedule.

We recognize that many of the entries we are not accepting have had great success at other film festivals, or will go on to do so. Please do not let our decision impact the pride and enthusiasm you have for your work. We wish you every success in your filmmaking pursuits and hope that you will keep our festival in mind in the future.


Maryland Film Festival


I found this out on Monday, actually, but I didn't want to tell anyone about it until I had some good news to tell them as well. So I did create some good news, which I'll tell you about in a sec, but then I just still didn't feel like talking about it because, you know, nursing the bruised ego. Then I was going to write about it yesterday but I realized it was April Fool's Day, and I didn't want people to think it was a joke and get their hopes up that the opposite was true, so that is why I waited until today.

It is not an easy pill to swallow, but after a few phone calls to certain friends, and a few beers, I managed to get it down. I can accept the rejection on my own behalf. "Smalltimore," is a fairly standard romantic comedy with no big stars in it, a hard sell at festivals that aren't looking for anything specific, and the Maryland Film Festival is one such festival. Other festivals I have submitted to are centric to female filmmakers, African-American (actors), Gay & Lesbian, original music, comedy, first-time filmmakers, etc... The MFF isn't looking for anything specific like that, it is a non-competitive festival - no juries, no prizes, no categories. So for me personally, it's okay, I can live with the decision, as being in the MFF would have given me another laurel to show off, but I didn't have a chance of winning any cash prizes and it probably would not help me to find a distributor for my film. But... it just would have been nice if my love letter to Baltimore were not... unrequited.

That stings a little bit, I won't lie. But after that initial disappointment, what really had me upset was to think that a single time slot could not be found for a movie that would have given so many local artists and musicians a boost. That, to me, is the part that really sucks and why I didn't want to talk about it (and still really don't, but I have to). That is the part that I don't get. And for the moment I can't say more than that or I will say things I will later regret, and as I have told you so many times, this is a very small town, so sometimes you should just keep your mouth shut so you don't burn any bridges. Hopefully I haven't done anything more than singe them a bit.

On to the good news. A few days before I found out about being rejected by the MFF, I started bracing myself for that possibility. What do I do if that happens? I didn't want to make all the people who worked so hard on the movie wait any longer to see the finished product. I came up with an idea, and within an hour of getting that unfortunate email, I set it into motion.

So, as unhappy as I was to tell you about the above news, I am equally happy to announce the first public screening of "Smalltimore," its World Premiere! That glorious event will take place on Sunday, May 3, at the Wind-Up Space. Of course I will be bombarding you with info on that soon, but the basics are, doors open at 6:00pm, movie at 7:00pm.

The Wind-Up Space is a very cool bar and multi-media space, with one large wall that is a movie screen. We filmed several scenes of the movie here. Russell DeoCampo, who owns the place, designed the space specifically to be flexible and conducive to art exhibits and performances of any kind. That is the spirit of Baltimore that I love so much and so it is very fitting that the first screening of "Smalltimore" will take place here. Plus, you can order up an icy cold Natty Boh to enjoy with the film! Can't do THAT at the MFF. And the price of admission will only be $7, less than most matinees.

I look at the whole thing as a blessing in disguise. Of course I am disappointed, being in the MFF would have given us some good press. But in the big picture, it may be better this way. I would not have received a dime from screening at the MFF, but this way I can use the movie to fundraise, so that I can afford to travel to the festivals that do accept the film. I am hoping to raise enough $$$ at this screening to cover my expenses to go to The Heart of England Festival in June, where, as you know, we have already been accepted.

So, big thanks to Russell for helping me to salvage the situation and give everyone something to look forward to. I promise it will be a great time. And thanks to the few friends I have shared this with so far who have, as always, provided me with their unwavering support. The first person I called was Al Letson (pictured above), because not only is he a dear friend and always calms me down when I am about to blow a gasket, but is one of my few friends who in this situation can speak from experience. He told me that this happens to him all the time, he receives rejections for theater festivals he should have been accepted to, to later find out that people not as talented got in because they knew someone. Coming from someone else, that might sound like sour grapes, but if you have seen any of Al's work, you know it is just the plain truth. I can't think of anyone I know who is more talented than Al.

During our conversation he talked about the possibility of me directing a screenplay he has already written, one we have talked about before. That was a very nice thing to hear, I would LOVE to direct something Al has written, that would be amazing!

Like I said, Al always straightens my head out and makes me feel better. As we were getting off the phone, he simply said, "They're assholes. I love you."

I'm not saying he's right. I'm just saying it made me feel better.

The Ups and the Downs

[Cheryl Scungio always plays the sweet soccer mom. But not in my movie.]

I received a follow-up email this morning from The Heart of England Festival, where "Smalltimore," is screening on June 8th in Tamworth, England. It was a list of the awards nominations, which, I am sorry to say, "Smalltimore," is not on. I told you before that I would share the disappointments with you as well as the shining moments, so I thought I should let you know.

To be honest, the only reason I thought we MIGHT have a shot at a nomination, and, indeed, the only reason I submitted to this festival in the first place, is because there are awards categories for both, "American Feature," and, "First Film (by a director)". The HOE is only in its second year, so I thought it was at least possible. I am a little disappointed, but not crushed or anything, and I still plan on going to the festival (somehow).

It will save me some money in the long run, because "Smalltimore" screens on the first day of the festival, and the awards ceremony is on the last day of the festival, so I would have stayed in Tamworth all week, but I probably will just stay a few days now. It might work out for the best altogether, because there is another festival at the end of that week that we might get into, and if I can get into and go to that then I won't feel like I am missing anything in Tamworth, though "Smalltimore" would still be eligible for the Best of Festival Award.

I don't really have any delusions of grandeur, and as I have said before, if "Smalltimore" wins an award for anything, it would likely be for the soundtrack - 37 original songs by 11 Baltimore artists - of which I am very proud, and I would love, love, love for those artists to receive some well-deserved kudos.

Romantic comedies are a hard sell at festivals, at least romantic comedies that don't have big stars in them. When most people think, "film festival," they think, "weird," "unexpected," "bizarre". And "Smalltimore," is none of those things. In my completely unbiased opinion ;) it is simply a story well-told, that most people can relate to, with a solid cast, cinematography above and beyond what is expected of most indies, and a killer soundtrack. So, I am happy to just get INTO a few festivals.

The timing of this notice is probably good, it is a minor test run as to how to deal with the blows as I will inevitably start receiving some rejection notices very soon. For the next six weeks I will be hearing yay or nay from at least one festival per week. In a way, I feel like every submission is a long shot, with the exception of certain festivals like the ones that are specifically centered around female filmmakers, though there are only a couple of those. There are a few that, I'll admit, if we don't get into, I will be rather upset about.

But on the other hand, I know I'll be fine no matter what, and I stand by the movie no matter what. I know that I (and a whole lot of other people) really worked my ass off and did the absolute best I could do, and just getting the thing DONE is equivalent to "success". If I was a person who was very beholden to what other people think of me, I wouldn't have put myself out there (i.e., making the movie) to begin with. It's all good. It's all very, very good.

Take Heart

(I took the above photo at the dog track in Galway, Ireland, in 2002. Read on to find out what the hell it has to do with anything.)

I woke up to some exciting news today. "Smalltimore" has been accepted at its first festival, "The Heart of England Film Festival"! Currently it is scheduled to screen on June 8th, the first day of the festival, in Tamworth, UK.

This festival just launched last year, but it is already attracting actors such as Marcia Gay Harden and Keifer Sutherland, who are involved in projects that will be screening there this year. And no matter how big or small it is, hey, we can say we screened internationally!

Acceptance at this festival also guarantees us screening, if we choose, at several other international festivals in places such as Ireland, Thailand, and South Africa. I'll be researching these a little more extensively to see if they are suitable to us. I know that the one in Ireland is a new one that if you pay the submission fee, you are guaranteed to screen there, which can mean the process is rather watered down. But then again, if you have a good product, it can easily stand out in a festival like this. The other reason I might do that festival is because it is in Galway.

I took an extensive 2-week tour of Ireland in 2002 that included Galway and it was one of my favorite towns. It is small and pretty, a working town, on the water, and they have a dog track. Our tour guide, Terry, told us that if we wanted to do something non-touristy to go there, it was locals (who are all pretty much regulars) only. Terry told us that if we wanted to really know the ins and outs, to ask the youngest person we could find there, as a lot of boys in the town more or less grow up at the track. I went, by myself, and sure enough there were lots of young boys scampering around, walking with a confident bounce in their step, head tilted back with an air of authority, and interacting with the well-weathered gray-haired regulars with such familiarity I wouldn't be surprised if they all went out together for a pint afterwards. The odds boards, unlike the electronic and computerized boards at Pimlico or Laurel, were actual boards - CHALK boards - each held up by an older man who would change the odds by hand as the bets came in.

The track was well lived-in, the age showing on the facility as well as (some of) the patrons. I made a bet, something I had never done before (this was well before I got hooked on the ponies here in Baltimore). For dog races, if you don't know, there is an electric rabbit on the rail that the dogs are trained to chase. SLAM!!! The gates open, the greyhounds take off like slim bullets with fur, maniacally chasing something they can never hope to catch. This was very exciting to me, a very new and different experience. The dogs are unbelievably fast. The track is not as big as a horse track, of course, and there were no TV screens so you could see the dogs up close as they ran. But the track was small enough that you could still see them yourself when they were running on the opposite side. As they approached the final bend, even from where I stood I could see that the dogs were slowing down. When they came into full view as they rounded the corner, they seemed confused and started running into each other, crossing each other's paths. I had never seen a dog race before, but surely this can't be how they all go? The dogs further slowed down and now were just bumping into each other, looking around, when the race caller announced: "Sorry, the electric rabbit has broken. All bets are off, please turn in your tickets for a refund at the window!" I looked and sure enough, there was the rabbit, still sitting on the rail at his starting position.

So, things like that, that may be why I enter some festivals that may or may not do me that much good. You never know who you are going to meet or what kind of experiences you are going to have when you travel. Even bad experiences later make for good stories. Throw the movie at a film festival into the mix, and who knows what might happen? In Ireland, I'M the one with the sexy accent ;)