Holy Moses on Toast

Sorry no pic today, last night was one long, incredible blur and I did not have a moment to take a single photo of my own. Luckily many of my friends did, including some of The Charles Theater marquee that said "SMALLTIMORE" that I barely had time to glance at (but it looked very cool when I did). I'll have some for you soon, here and on the "Smalltimore, the movie" Facebook page (link in the sidebar).

I don't think I could have had more fun last night if I tried. I was so wired I could not go to sleep until almost 5:00am, and then I woke up just after 9:00am and laid in bed for a couple more hours reviewing the whole night in my head. As I tried (fruitlessly) to go back to sleep, I became aware that as I lay there with my eyes closed I was smiling from ear to ear. Like I am right now!

Great turnout to the screening, over 200 people, which is superb considering that we also had over 200 people in the spring when Smalltimore premiered at The Wind-Up Space, and especially great considering that people had to fight rush hour traffic on a cold and windy weekday night to get there.

I met a LOT of new people that had heard my interview on Maryland Morning on Monday and came out not because they know me or anyone in it but just because it sounded interesting. Many of them (and almost all of my friends) came over to The Wind-Up Space afterwards for the DVD release party. Getting feedback, good and bad, from all kinds of people is important, but nothing is as gratifying as having total strangers go on about how much they love your movie. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing it from friends and people I know, but you expect your friends to be supportive. An unbiased audience is a much harder, and truer, test.

The party was just... amazing. Could not have been better if it had been raining champagne. I can't believe how lucky I am to know so many talented musicians. And the BEST part was that since they each only played one set, I got to hang out with them! I love going to my friends' shows, but it is a little bit of a drag that I usually don't get to CONVERSE with them much. Even on their breaks between sets I have to battle their other friends and fans for a few minutes of their time. But last night I got to really spend some time with Jen Swartout, Lauren Young, Tucker and the boys, Reina Williams, Brynn McCoy, and Tom Boynton and The Remnants. And they got to show off their skills but enjoy the party also. And everyone of them was such a pro, I didn't have to direct traffic at all, they all stuck to their time limits and swapped out their sets smoothly and did not cause me one single second of stress!

And Russell DeoCampo (owner of The Wind-Up Space)... what a great guy. Not only a supporter of the arts, but a SAVVY supporter of the arts. It is such a fantastic space, designed specifically to be adaptable to all sorts of events, exhibits, and parties celebrating any media you can think of. Hard to believe it has only been in existence for a year and a half. I am really glad I was filming when I was, before they got so busy that they are open every night of the week (thanks to my friend Elizabeth for suggesting the WU as a location last year!).

Then there are my stars... Cheryl Scungio and her Tall Entourage ruled the roost, she must have had 20 people with her! Kelly Coston was a riot as always, even though she kept slipping away from the dance floor and I kept dragging her right back to it. Orlando Gonzalez came up all the way from Miami, and brought his own posse including Johnny Alonso and Frank Lama. Phil Amico was there, too, I can always count on him. And Kyle Holtgren brought all the cool kids. Darik Bernard made it to the screening but couldn't stick around for the party, but it was good to see him. I really love that my cast loves to get together whenever we have a chance. That truly means a lot to me. And OF COURSE Regina Guy was not only on board, but helped me run the show from setting up at The Wind-Up Space before the screening at The Charles, til breaking down after last call!

Director Steve Yeager came to the screening, as did my screenwriter friend Rob Pawloski. I met each of them when I took their (individual) film-related classes at the Creative Alliance, and from there we became friends. But friendship aside, I have so much respect for each of them within the field, and their support means a lot to me. Rob splits his time between L.A. and Baltimore, and I didn't even know he was in town, so that was a great surprise!

And last but not least, my loyal-as-the-day-is-long friends. Mikey B. hopped a train from NYC immediately after work yesterday, coming straight from Penn Station to The Charles Theater just in time for the show, staying at the party until almost the very end and even helping Regina unload the tables and supllies back at my house afterwards. We were up until after 3:00am and then he had to get a train back this morning before I even got up, he has to work this afternoon. Eric Thornett drove in rush hour traffic from D.C. and also stayed pretty late. He has been to all three Baltimore screenings, and made some comment about this being the last premiere of the same movie he is coming to :) . Michelle made it, just barely, as not only was she quite sick, but she had to push her friend Megan who was in a wheelchair with a broken leg!

My girl friends Lisa, Janet, Alvina, and Elizabeth each took a shift at the DVD table, and Lisa and Jan helped sell tickets at the theater also, freeing me up to schmooze it up. They, along with the rest of my Dougherty's Pub crowd (Jody, Michael, Allison, Rob...), set up shop at a large table near the door. So I always had a designated place to take a deep breath, get a hug, or have someone hand me a slice of pizza.

I am wiped out, but very, very happy with how everything went. Thanks to everyone who came out, and please know that even if I did not get to spend a great deal of time speaking to you individually, your support means the world to me and it keeps me doing what I am doing. Much love to all!

Turning the Page

Writing offline again, while the computer is tied up printing DVDs. I won't even tell you how many I've printed. I'm almost done.

Talked to Michelle yesterday and I did tell her how many I printed. I forget what she said, something diplomatic, but I know that tone in her voice. It was her, "Don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen the way you think it will..." voice. In other words, she doesn't think I am going to sell that many DVDs. I like it when she doubts me. It makes it that much more fun when I prove her wrong. I sold sixteen yesterday, and I got an email from my friend Doug in Mississippi saying his check was in the mail for his own DVD. Seventeen! Plus Cheryl already ordered 5 extra... twenty-two. Well on my way. And, like I told Michelle, if I don't sell them all in one night, it's not like they are going to go bad!

I was going to go out again tonight, distributing posters, postcards, and see if there was anyone out and about, but it is disgusting outside and I am feeling something coming on, been sneezing all day, so I am playing it safe in my cozy apartment. Tomorrow is not supposed to be so gross, so I will spend some more time on my one-woman media blitz then. I have quite the hit list lined up.

There are still 8 or 9 festivals that I am waiting to hear back from, expecting notifications starting a couple weeks from now, spread out through March, I think. From early November through January there are very few festivals going on. After the screening next week, I will sift through Withoutabox.com and submit to a few more, and then that is it for festivals. The next step will be seeking distribution, which I have not even touched on one bit yet. Some filmmakers would not choose to self-distribute before seeking professional distribution. There are pros and cons to everything. I am too practical to think that some studio exec is going to show up on my doorstep with a distribution deal and a dozen roses. It may happen if I work very hard at seeking it out, but the word "distribution" isn't as big a deal as most people think it is. A lot of times, that means that the filmmaker signs over any and all rights to the film and never sees a dime. We've all heard how "Paranormal Activity," was made for a measly $11,000 and now it is a nationwide sensation raking in millions, right? Um, has anyone seen the filmmakers on any talk shows? If you have, I am sure they are not talking about the millions they made on it. That would be the studio that picked it up, possibly for less than $11,000. I haven't looked into it, but I will, and I'll get back to you.

People (i.e., filmmakers especially) get caught up in that word, "distribution". And it is nice to be able to say that, and don't get me wrong, I WANT to be able to say that at some point about "Smalltimore." But, like I said, I am practical, and the other thing is, it is not just my money. I have a responsibility to my Executive Producers to get them their money back. Well, in theory, or actuality even, I don't, because they each knew going in, I was very honest and painted as dark a picture as I could, that they may never see a dime of it back. But, in my actuality, I am not going to be able to rest until I do get them their money back, at least to break even. First of all, so I can sleep at night, and secondly, hell, I want to make another movie! If I can prove to my friends who were so generous with me the first time that I could get them their money back when I had no idea what I was doing, hopefully I can do a lot better the second go-round!

My decision to self-distribute was based on the old adage to strike while the iron is hot. Right now, people know about "Smalltimore." I meet someone new at least once a week who says, "That's you? I've been hearing about that! How can I get a copy?" Well, you can show up at The Charles Theater next Wednesday, December 9th at 7:00pm for the screening, then come to the DVD release party at the Wind-Up Space right after and buy one for yourself! I know some people who have been holding on tightly to their movie for years, waiting for that phone call or email with an offer of distribution. The longer they wait, in most cases, the less money (if any) they are going to get for it. I certainly don't know everything about this business, but I know my current demographic. And that is, all of my friends and current Baltimoreans that this movie represents, and all of the people who helped to make it. Those are the people who want their hands on it now, so why pass that up? I don't know where I am going to be five years ago, let alone where all these people who want my movie now are going to be. What am I going to do, Facebook them in 2014 and say, hey, do you still want to buy a copy? I am not going to let any moss grow on my feet. Over the course of the next year, if you run into me somewhere and you don't have a copy yet, I'll be happy to sell you one out of the trunk of my car. I am not afraid to make my investors' money (and mine) back for them $15 at a time. I am not going to let my ego get in the way of my responsibilities.

Anyway, moving on. Literally. Let's recap briefly, so you can understand what a huge process the whole thing has been. I wrote the very first draft of the script exactly five years ago. I didn't do much with it for two years, then I spent a solid year rewriting it. Two years ago, at my last big holiday party, I unveiled the rough trailer (click the video in the toolbar on the right, the one with me in it) that I had made in secrecy, and announced to all of my friends and family my intent to make a movie. At that time I started my first movie blog, www.charmcitythemovie.blogspot.com. I spent the next 8 months in pre-production, continuing rewrites up until only a month before we starting filming on August 1, 2008. Two weeks of production, a handful of pick-up days a few months later... and on December 27th, 2008, as promised, I screened a rough cut to cast and crew. At that event I also revealed that the true name of the movie was "Smalltimore," and started the new blog that you are now reading, www.smalltimorethemovie.blogspot.com.

In this past year, I have never stopped doing my best to make the movie better and just get it out there. Even after submitting it to more festivals than I care to admit, I continued tweaking and editing. It has been to festivals in England, Philadelphia, and California. It won "Best Director," at Indie Fest in Anaheim, where we screened at the AMC Theater smack in the middle of DisneyLand, even beating out a very good film that I saw there, "House of Fallen," which starred Corbin Bernsen and C. Thomas Howell.

Every time I watch, "Smalltimore," and believe me, I have lost count by now - especially lately, when I have been watching one from each batch to make sure they are burning correctly - I see things I would do differently, and things that, if I wanted to, I could still do to it to make it better. But, there comes a time when you have to say, that's it; it's done. Could it be better? Of course. "Gone With The Wind," could have been better. This is my first film. I can live with it as is.

Anyway, the point I am meandering to is, it is time to move along. I have kept you updated on here about any other movie-related things I have been working on, and just like I have done that while my main focus has been "Smalltimore," it is almost time to swap those priorities. Of course these last few weeks, and at least the next one, has been All Smalltimore, All The Time. But this is our last big hurrah, at least the last planned big hurrah. Like I said, I'll continue to get it out there, a few more festivals maybe, and strong pursuit of distribution. Maybe another Baltimore screening next summer, we'll see what the market will bear. I would love to show it at a drive-in, how fun would that be? But if I am to be serious about turning this into my next career, I can't be a one-trick pony. I need to expand my horizons, and move on to new projects, mine as well as working on other people's.

On December 27th of this year, I will retire this blog on its one year anniversary. Like www.charmcitythemovie.blogspot.com, (in theory) it will remain in cyberspace forever, so you can always refer back to it if you are so inclined. At that time, I will begin a new blog, www.steelcorsetproductions.blogspot.com. Still me, still doing what I do, just, you know, in a broader spectrum. I hope to be able to generate the degree of name recognition for Steel Corset Productions that I have been able to drum up for "Smalltimore". I hope to have a lot of new adventures, and take even bigger chances. And I really hope that you will come along for the ride.

The People in Your Neighborhood

[Smalltimore poster designed by Kyle Holtgren!]

I am really starting to get excited now that I have a few more things off my plate, and particularly because some of those things are the layout of the promotional postcard and poster for the screening, which I shipped off to the printers (online) yesterday. By the way, if you need stuff like this, you should use Grove Printing (www.groveprinting.com), they are cheap, their stuff looks great, easy as pie to order online (seriously, if I can do it...), and fast turnaround time. Anyway, Kyle Holtgren (David in "Smalltimore" - he is a man of many talents) is my graphic artist saviour, and if you are making a movie that you eventually intend to promote, you need someone like him on your team. For a living, Kyle designs beer labels for Fordham Brewing, and they are honestly the most gorgeous beer labels you can imagine!

So Kyle is a triple threat - a little acting, graphic design, AND he works for a brewing company! Soooo, when we were filming, Kyle helped land me a few cases of Fordham Brew to use as props in "Smalltimore". Many of the scenes take place in bars, because (a) it is a movie set in Baltimore and (b) it is my movie. So it was quite helpful to have bottles of beer on the bar and tables and not have to hide the labels - a dead giveaway of a low-budget indie.

Another person who came in quite handy in that regard was my friend Ken "Lord of the Beers" Dean, who also happens to be the husband of my Production Manager, Rebecca Clear Dean. Ken tended bar for many years at Sascha's, and he also helped out the production by procuring even more cases of beer from his buddies at Magic Hat. If you watch closely when you see "Smalltimore," you will notice that Gracie always drinks Magic Hat No. 9, Bentley Always drinks Circus Boy (my Magic Hat fave), and Melanie always drinks Lucky Kat.

When making a movie, I am always thinking about production values, and using anything at my disposal - friends who are stunt men, gorgeous mansion homes of people I know, children, animals, artwork, music, whatever... but you also need to think about the people you have in your arsenal for behind the scenes stuff like graphic design, and alcohol supplies. Very important.

Don't be afraid to ask your friends if they would like to lend their special talents to your project. Most often people are not only willing to do so, but thrilled to be asked, because you know what? Making movies is cool. I'm not gonna lie, it is. I can tell you, and I have, about all the little crappy things that go into making a movie that most people don't think about, but even with all that stuff, it is cool, and fun, and I have yet to meet the person who doesn't think so. I used to feel guilty asking people to do things like come be an extra for 12 hours, which probably entails 2 to 3 hours of rolling cameras and the rest of the time just sitting around, often not being able to talk. I still feel a tiny bit guilty, but that usually goes away after we wrap for the day and I tell those people, sorry that took so long, hope you weren't bored to death, and they look at me with their eyes a little wider than usual and their cheeks sometimes a little flushed even and they almost always say the same thing, something along the lines of, no, that was really cool, I had no idea how much goes on behind the scenes, call me the next time you are doing something!

So when you are planning to shoot a movie, even a little one, think about those things, the talents of your friends, and put them to work. My neighbor Joe, a hairdresser, helped me out a couple days on Smalltimore, my friend Lisa, a cosmetologist, did make-up for me on my short The Red-Headed Menace, and a million other examples I could give you. You can't do it all yourself. Just ask Regina Guy, who has no less than FOUR credits in "Smalltimore". I work her ass off every chance I get, and she loves it, loves being on the set, being a part of the collaborative effort, loves being appreciated for the things she does well. If you don't believe me, ask her yourself on the night of the screening, as she will be helping me sell tickets at the theater and then selling DVDs at the party! Because she is awesome like that, as are Kyle, Ken, Joe, Lisa, etc, etc, etc... You probably have friends almost as awesome, put them to good use!

p.s. there will be a VERY limited run of 150 of the above posters for sale at the party. They are 13 x 19 and will be $5 each, so if you want one, snap them up fast at the party, when they are gone, they're gone!

And Even More Awesome News...

[Will Lurie as Andrew in a scene from filmed in Fin Art, a.k.a. (in "Smalltimore") Moxie Gallery]

Yet another hot happening you are invited to:

Charles Lawrance exhibit at Henderson's Wharf & Fin Art in Fells Point, Saturday, December 12, 6:00pm-9:00pm. Come to an art exhibit in the real gallery (Fin Art) that serves as "Moxie Gallery" in "Smalltimore," just days after the "Smalltimore screening on December 9th!

Here is a production secret just for fans of "Smalltimore, the Movie" Facebook page and the faithful readers of this blog: in one of the Moxie Gallery scenes in "Smalltimore" (filmed in Charles Lawrance's Fells Point Gallery, Fin Art), Gracie says to Bentley, "Do we still have any Charles Lawrance pieces?" The room they are standing in is floor to ceiling paintings - every one of them a Charles Lawrance. Just my little inside joke and "thank you" to Charles for allowing me to film in his gorgeous gallery. Come see for yourself, and meet Charles. I'll be there, too!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=181078869572&index=1

Onward & Forward

[I hope to shoot my next short in this building, a creepy old Civil War-era jail. Am I the only one who sees the face of a bald inmate staring me down in this photo?]

Just a short one today, I have loads to do and have been distracted by Facebook and the Pittsburgh Steelers all day, nope, don't wanna talk about it.

The Poconos shoot is shelved probably until March. I need some distance from the piece right now. It is like in football, when your team is rolling down the field on an incredible drive and just as everyone knows you are about to score, the other side calls a time out and it messes up your whole groove. If I tried to immediately regroup and get it done, it wouldn't be good, and I just don't have time to do it well before the "Smalltimore" screening on December 9th, and after that the weather is probably going to make it too difficult, along with some scheduling issues.

So, gotta shake it off. I recently visited a Civil War-era jail that is under renovation. It is a very cool location and I have an open invitation to shoot there. The script has been stewing in my brain since I saw the place, and I believe I will get started on it soon. Just a short, but very different from things I have done so far.

Tomorrow I will be announcing here the final line-up for the "Smalltimore" screening post-party at The Wind-Up Space. If you are a fan on the "Smalltimore, the movie" Facebook page, though, it is old news to you because those fans get the info first. If you haven't become a fan yet, please click the link in the sidebar and get in the loop!

And now, I am off to tackle something I have been dreading but also am very excited about: setting up my brand-new DVD duplicator. There are a lot of instructions. I HATE reading instructions. But I am going to take my time and read them word for word and get this thing rolling. Miles to go before I sleep, piles (of DVDs) to burn before I screen...

A Day in the Life of an Independent Filmmaker

[Cheryl Scungio posing for cover art/marketing photo]

7:47am - wake before the alarm. Relieved I don't have to get up until 8:30am.
8:02am - give up on trying to go back to sleep, too many things on the "to do" list in my head.
8:10am - feed dogs. Feed self. Shower.
8:53am - start pulling food out of the fridge to arrange snack trays for actors for today's rehearsals for the short we are shooting next week. Decide to be generous and defrost some shrimp cocktail. Check shrimp and realize it is freezer burnt. Chuck it.
9:16am - Bring food upstairs to where we will be rehearsing. Rearrange chairs and tables to recreate the set so we can start blocking movements. Locate props and bring them to the set.
10:57am - actors arrive. Have an at-length discussion about areas of the script that they are not completely comfortable with yet.
11:12am - choose wardrobe from among the options they brought me.
11:31am - start rehearsal. Very heavy dramatic piece. End up chopping almost a whole page of dialogue. Work it all out until piece is very smooth and everybody is happy.
1:12pm - While showing the actresses how I want them to sit on the floor, I kneel on my skirt at the same time I am standing up and rip a big hole in it. Hike the waist up and pull my top down over the hole. carry on.
2:29pm - Nail the last scene. Everyone is emotionally exhausted. Decide not to over-rehearse, let the actors go half an hour earlier than scheduled.
3:03pm - order via phone the DVD duplicator that I researched online yesterday. Max out two credit cards in the process.
3:37pm - Cheryl Scungio, my lead in "Smalltimore", arrives for a brief photo shoot for DVD cover art and marketing materials. Hilarity ensues.
4:02pm - finally a moment to breathe. Haven't seen Cheryl in months. We catch up, talk mostly about filmmaking and boys.
5:13pm - Cheryl leaves. I hit the computer to email movie stills from "Smalltimore" to Kyle Holtgren. Kyle plays David in "Smalltimore" and he is helping me with the artwork/graphic design.
5:34pm - realize I forgot to plug in my Tom-Tom. Have to hand-write Mapquest directions to Kyle's office in Annapolis.
5:48pm - Cross several items off my daily "to do" list on the dry-erase board on my fridge. Smug sense of satisfaction until I get to the bottom that says "Balto Sign". I was supoosed to take a photo of a sign that says "Baltimore" for the cover art. It is now pitch dark out. I curse daylight savings time, and myself.
5:55pm - change into a skirt that isn't torn.
6:01pm - gather camera, directions, purse, phone, house keys, car keys. Exit house to drive to Annapolis. Cold air hits my feet and I realize I am still wearing my comfy sandals that were fine for rehearsal but have nothing to do with the rest of my outfit.
6:02pm - go back inside, change shoes. Realize I haven't eaten lunch, let alone dinner. Suck down some Bolthouse Farms protein drink. Go back to car.
6:04pm - realize I don't have the cord that connects my camera to the computer to retrieve the photos of Cheryl. Go back inside to get it.
6:06pm - Enter car. Realize that I left the paper with directions on it in the house when I went back in to change shoes. More swearing. Go back in house.
6:08pm - finally leaving parking lot.
6:27pm - stuck in traffic only three blocks from my house for 20 minutes. Somebody drove their car through a railing and onto the light rail tracks. MLK is blocked off. Traffic is a mess.
6:29pm - call Kyle. We decide to scrap meeting in person and instead he will rough it out and send me a proof. Need a drink.
6:45pm - call my friend Elizabeth. She is stuck in traffic also. Also needs a drink.
6:49pm - have made an 8 block circle and I am back home.
6:55pm - It's too cold to walk 4 blocks to Dougherty's pub in a skirt. Realize I have no nice clean clothes because I have been too busy to do laundry lately. Have to choose between cute & cold or comfy & cozy. Opt for the latter and throw on my Steelers sweatshirt hoodie and black jersey pants that usually don't leave the house.
7:07pm - arrive at Dougherty's. Regale my friends with stories of my filmmaking-related financial woes and make them all promise to come to the screening of Smalltimore on December 9th at the Charles Theater at 7:00pm, and also buy several DVDs. Each.
7:40pm - my neighbor arrives with a copy of the press release I sent him because my printer isn't working.
5:59am - wake up on my sofa, TV on. Grab my dogs and go to bed.
6:27am - give up on going back to sleep. Too many things on my "to do" list running through my head.
6:52am - blog.

"No Rest For the Wicked...

...and the good don't need it!" That's what my old boss used to tell me, anyway. Though I think he was just trying to get me to laugh about working 70+ hours a week. To imagine I want to get out of the hotel business and into the movie business! It isn't any less work, though it is more fun, and usually does not involve making beds (though even that comes into play from time to time when dressing a set - hotel management experience really does lend itself to moviemaking!).



The above photo may not LOOK like work, and it wasn't really, but it is still movie-related and I am still doing my part to promote Baltimore as The Place To Be for indie filmmakers. The guy checking out Orpheus' bum at Fort McHenry is my friend & fellow filmmaker Adam Bronstein ("My Movie Girl", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7gQ2mCu-PE), who was visiting from L.A. Well, actually he lives in L.A. but was on the east coast because his film screened in NYC last week and he has family over here and had been visiting his Dad in NYC and his Mom & sister in Philly, so he was almost here already, but it sounds cooler to say he was visiting from L.A. than he was visiting from Philly. Though now I've gone and ruined that.

Anyway. I've mentioned Adam before, I met him at the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival in June. We stayed in touch and when "Smalltimore" screened in Anaheim he drove 2 hours through hellacious traffic to see it and did that again to come to the awards ceremony where I won Best Director. Then his movie screened in NYC last week so I went up there for that, then he came to Baltimore for 3 days to hang out. It was really fun showing him the locations where we filmed "Smalltimore" and he even got to meet and hang out with 3 of the actors.

While I was in NYC, in addition to seeing Adam I also got to see Mikey B, one of my Exec Producers, and another filmmaker, Vagabond Beaumont (http://www.machetero-movie.com/MACHETERO/Welcome.html). I had met Vagabond at my very first festival, The Heart of England FF, in June, and hadn't seen him since so that was fun. Also I went to see the Broadway show "Oleanna" starring Bill Pullman, and got to see him for a few minutes afterwords. If you go waaaay back to the near beginning of this blog (actually, the previous blog, www.charmcitythemovie.blogspot.com) you can read about Bill's influence on "Smalltimore". Too much to go into right now. Bottom line, he is a great guy, and has been a great cheerleader and very supportive of my efforts as I elbow my way into this world.

The day before getting to NYC I went up to Mikey's cabin in the Poconos with Michelle and her girlfriend/AC/right arm Megan, to do some pre-production for the new short we will be shooting in November. That was both fun and very productive, and we are all feeling really good about this project. In less than 3 hours from the time I am writing this, the two actresses in the short are coming to my place for our first read-through. I love this part of the process. Not everyone does this. I like to have this time to give my actors some input. I believe it strengthens the characters if the actors are given a chance to tweak them just a little, to work out any dialogue that might not come across as naturally in life as it does on the page, and to give the actors time to question me about the background of the characters. It helps them to own the part, as well as giving them a sense of ownership in the entire process. When we were doing the table read of "Smalltimore" last summer, several of the actors commented to me that it was very cool to have their opinions considered. That doesn't mean I changed everything they suggested, it is just that actors so rarely are asked for input, and they appreciated being heard. As a director it gives me a better handle on where they are coming from, and for the actors it gives them a chance to become comfortable with me and my style.

Of course there is a whole lot more going on on top of that. Last night was the Members' Committee meeting at the Creative Alliance, where we screen films that have been submitted for the next 4 months of programming and weigh in on if we think they are a good fit. Tonight I am going to go over some materials that were sent to me by Li Zhu, who I have worked with on a couple other projects and I will be helping her with casting her new short. I really love casting. It is like Christmas shopping to me, finding the perfect actor for the part is like finding the perfect gift for a friend. When it is perfect, you just know it, and there is such a satisfaction in that.

The big deal, of course, is the "Smalltimore" screening at The Charles Theater six weeks from now. I have to get together with Kyle Holtgren ASAP, he is going to help me design some marketing materials and cover art for the DVD, and I will probably have to get Cheryl Scungio to come in for a photo shoot so we can slap her smiling face on the cover and posters, since she's my lead.

Then there is figuring out how many DVDs to make and how to make them. I ordered the DVDs and cases in bulk yesterday, and dropped off the check for the theater rental the day before that... it is no joke that you have to spend money to make money. Actually, the saying should be, "You have to spend money to have a snowball's chance in hell of breaking even," but I guess that is not as catchy and slightly discouraging. Economics is so very... inconvenient. If I want to make 600 duplicates of the DVD, I can pay someone else to do it and spend $700-$1,000. Or I can buy a low-end DVD duplicator for about $1,300, not including ink cartridges. Or I can buy a better one for about $2,000. Or I can try to burn 25 DVDs a day from my laptop for the next month and hope that that doesn't kill my very expensive laptop. Which is the only option that at this moment I can actually AFFORD.

Buying the duplicator makes the most sense and it would pay for itself if I sell enough DVDs in the not-too-distant future. I just don't have the money to do it, not even on credit right now. So the best I can come up with for the moment is, start off burning DVDs from my laptop for the next 3 weeks, make only the minimum payment on my credit cards this month from my first paycheck and then with the remnants of my first November paycheck and pretty much all of the second November paycheck, buy the duplicator and I'll have it about 2 weeks before the screening date and have time to make a couple hundred on that, before killing my laptop. And then everyone I have ever met needs to buy at least two DVDs of "Smalltimore". This means you.

I am not saying all of this to complain, and it will work itself out, I always find a way. I am just saying this because that is what this blog is for, to let you know everything that goes into all of this, not just the fun and sexy parts that result in a decent final product or big event. There is a lot of elbow grease, and a lot of cold, hard cash, that go into both.

Not to mention time! Somehow in the month of November I have to pull all of this off, including casting for Li and shooting this short for 3 days in the Poconos. Oh, and on December 12, three days after the screening, I am teaching a pre-production class at the Creative Alliance (http://www.creativealliance.org/events/eventItem1985.html), and I need to prepare for that.

Well, I have to go get ready for the table read now. Put some snacks and drinks together for my actors (Megan Rippey and Julia Broder, if you're curious), and read over the script again to mentally prepare myself. It is a heavy drama and it will be interesting to me to see the difference in this type of table read. The one for "Smalltimore," was a blast, 15 people sitting around the table laughing our heads off. This time, just three of us, and one of the actors (Julia) I haven't even met in person yet, I cast her from seeing her at the Stonehenge auditions.

I think if I ever decide to get out of the filmmaking circus I might... join the circus! It is sort of like that, so much going on at one time, making sure each ring is under control and operating smoothly. Either that or firefighting. Lord knows I have enough experience putting those out! I probably wouldn't meet the height requirement, though.

More semi-incriminating photos of Adam Bronstein will soon be posted on the Smalltimore, the Movie Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Smalltimore-the-movie/54159809709?ref=ts. Keep up to date with Smalltimore happenings both there and here!

SMALLTIMORE DVD Release & Screening!

[Cheryl Scungio, Johnny Benson, and Kelly Coston in "Smalltimore"]

I have been ridiculously busy and surprisingly productive lately, speaking at the film class at UMBC, applying for some local film-related fellowships, writing my film resume, finishing the script for the new short, going with Michelle to Mikey's cabin to do some pre-production for that short, scouting locations for the short AFTER that short (not yet written, still brewing), going to New York to see my friend Adam's film, "My Movie Girl", at the CMJ Festival (I submitted, too, didn't get in :( but very happy to be there to support Adam!), but most importantly, nailing down the big screening and DVD release of "Smalltimore" at The Charles Theater!

"Smalltimore" Screening & DVD Release
Wednesday, December 9th
7:00pm at The Charles Theater
1711 North Charles Street, Baltimore

RSVP here via Facebook to the Social Event of the Season! All are welcome!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=191001070349&index=1

There will be an EPIC post-party very close by, immediately following the screening. Details to be announced soon. Hope to see you there!

I am exhausted, but will write more when time permits. Enjoy my brevity for the moment, we both know it won't last :)

Racking Up the Credits

[Mikey's cabin in the Poconos, the location of my next short film, being shot later this month.]

How did I get so busy? Ya know, I have to stop asking myself that. I accepted a long time ago that at this point in my life there is really no such thing as "down time." If I am NOT busy, then I am in trouble...

Earlier this year, though don't ask me to pinpoint exactly when, I decided that, in addition to pushing "Smalltimore" at any festivals I could get it into (3 so far, all of which I attended this summer, one at which I won "Best Director"), I decided that I would dedicate the rest of this year to working on other people's projects in order to bulk up my resume with screen credits. Well, I got my wish. And no, I am not going to say, "Be careful what you wish for," because I am very glad to have gotten my wish, even though every moment that I take to breathe these days leaves me feeling a little guilty that I am not busy working on something.

So, what have I been up to? Well, you already know about my short, "The Red-Headed Menace," that we filmed in July and won the Judith Reinart Independent Spirit Award for in August, at the 29 Days Later Film Festival. "TRHM" screened again this past Monday at the Creative Alliance at the monthly Cinelounge meeting. That was really fun. Great turnout, loads of great feedback. After we screened, along with 2nd ("Tiny") and 3rd ("Apnea") place winners from 29 Days Later, I had to go up to the stage with the other two filmmakers for a short Q & A. It was only later that I realized that not only was this the first time I went up to a stage for something like this without my heart beating faster in a bad way, but I actually felt very comfortable and really enjoyed it. I never thought I would get to the point in my life when public speaking did not terrify me, but here I am.

Along those lines, but skipping ahead, this weekend I am preparing to speak at a class at UMBC next Tuesday taught by Kimberly Moffitt on the subject of Film in Baltimore. She is giving them the link to this blog today so thought I'd give them a little shout out. Look forward to meeting you guys! Last year Kimberly found me after reading something about "Smalltimore" online, and asked me to speak at her class last December. That was pretty nerve-wracking at first, but it turned out that I really enjoyed it. When I left that day, which was their last class before final exams, she told me that some questions on their final would be about my presentation. How cool is that? I was glad to get another call from her this year, looking forward to it. There was a time when I would have only thought of standing in front of a class like that to be pure torture, and here I am wishing I could do it more often. That is the beauty of filmmaking. You can't even imagine all the amazing lessons and personal growth that come with putting yourself out there like that until you actually do it.

But, as usual, I digress.

So, to update you on the other projects I have my hands in: last weekend I got back to work on the feature, "The Rosens," with Director Steve Yeager, though this time in addition to being Assistant Director I have also taken on the responsibility of Co-Producer, which basically means I do a bit more leg work in between filming days to help find locations, props, personnel, etc., that make the operation run more smoothly. Such as, I got Regina Guy on board to do Craft Services during the weekend shoot. Always great working with her, and partaking of her famous homemade chili :)

You already heard about "Please God, Someone Normal," so I won't recap that again. Other projects I have been asked to participate in but as they are still in early pre-production I have yet to get my hands very dirty, but will before year's end: one of my Production Assistant interns from "Smalltimore", Shernay Williams, is producing a short with her writer/director brother, and I will be doing some consulting with them next week and possibly through the length of the project, due to be shot in November. Another PA intern, but this one from "Ju-Ju: The Witch Doctor Chronicles,", Li Zhu, who also served as Assistant Camera on "The Red-Headed Menace" is preparing to shoot her thesis piece for Stevenson University and I will be doing some consulting and likely some production work for her. Normally, I would not be excited about working on a student film, but Li is such a perfectionist and I know that she has such a sharp eye that she will make certain that her piece is flawless, and I know the final product will be something that I would be happy to have my name associated with. Shernay's project as well. I read her brother's script and I think it has great potential.

So, there are a couple more screen credits. I wouldn't do just anything for screen credits, though, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't let my name be put on something unless I was proud to be a part of it. Another project that is very early in the works is an untitled short by Craig Herron. It will be heavy on the computer-generated effects and I haven't worked on anything like that before and I am looking forward to that getting off the ground. I will likely help with the script and on the production side.

Production isn't really what I want to get into, but I am good at it and there is a demand for those who are. It is problem-solving, creative thinking, event planning, and putting out fires. Pretty much exactly what I have been doing in hotel management for the last 20 years.

And finally, once again I am creating my own slew of screen credits by writing, producing, and directing another short, tentatively titled, "Skeletons." Michelle Farrell and I are teaming up again to shoot this at my friend (and one of my Executive Producers from "Smalltimore") Mikey's cabin (above photo) in the Poconos. "Skeletons," is a very heavy, dramatic piece with only two actors, so it will be very different from my previous work. I am looking forward to the challenge, and to challenging Michelle (i.e., driving her crazy) to make this no-budget short look like a million bucks.

On top of all that, I have been writing up proposals and filling out applications for a couple of local fellowships that could, if they so choose, award me with film gear and work space. Don't want to go too far into that and jinx it, so I'll let you know the outcome.

But the thing about those fellowships, and about the big hopes I have for what will be going on in my life a year from now (more on that after January, don't want to jinx that either), is this: bottom line is, it doesn't matter. I want these things, I really want them, I feel I deserve them and I could do justice to the people who might award me these things by giving back to them a quality product which is really their goal, to help an artist to do exactly that, and they would make meeting my own goals a whole lot easier, but the bottom line is: I will do it with or without them.

I am not saying that in a way to thumb my nose at anyone, that is not what I mean. What I mean is that, if you are going to do something like this, you just have to freaking do it, and you can't depend on anyone to help you get it done. I spent over a year, after deciding to make "Smalltimore" a reality on screen, thinking that I was dependent on other people who knew more than I did helping me to get it done. It was not until several people along the way did not live up to my (possibly ridiculous) expectations did I say to myself, screw this, I AM getting this done, one way or another. And I did.

Once I did that, as I have talked about before, other people that I had not expected to help me stepped forward and gave me support that I could not have dreamed of asking for. That's the way it goes. But you can't count on that either. You just have to move forward. None of this is brain surgery. All of it is hard work, and getting your hands dirty. The trick is to be above nothing. That is what gets people's attention, and respect.

Miss Me?

Sorry I've been slackin', but hey, I'm on vacation! I am waaaaaaaaaay over in Sunny Seattle, been here for a week, got a couple days left. It really is sunny, too! Has been every day since I got here. I have always had Unusually Good Vacation Weather Karma. Out here visiting my friend Tobey. Went up in the Space Needle, ate at a great little place called How To Cook A Wolf, hung out at the Public Market down on the water, saw Carrie Fisher in her one-woman show, "Wishful Drinking" (she is my favorite author, if I have never mentioned that), saw a Mariner's game (nice park, but the Mariner's got their asses handed to them by the Devil Rays), sang "When Doves Cry" at a gay karaoke bar (Tobey sang "Brilliant Disguise" by The Boss), met loads of Tob's friends and drank relentlessly on all but two nights, but my FAVORITE thing we did was we went on a whale watching trip on Saturday and saw LOADS of whales. That was super-cool, and something I always wanted to do.

I have been checking in on the RSVP list for the Premiere on Sunday, have a little over 70 via Facebook, and close to another 100 via email, so it is going to be quite the party! Can't wait!

While I was out here I got an email from Steve Yeager. I've mentioned him before, he is a Baltimore filmmaker who made the award-winning documentary on John Waters, "Divine Trash". I took a class of Steve's at the Creative Alliance back in November. Anyway, he asked if I could AD (Assistant Director) for him this weekend when I get back, and of course I said yes! I like Steve and had told him recently if he needed a hand on anything to let me know. I was an extra for him a few months ago and it seems like he is a pretty laid-back director, plus he is well-connected within the community and one thing often leads to another. Plus, another screen credit for moi! Unfortunately, however, this means I can't attend the premiere screening of "The Mystery Date," on Saturday, a short that I worked on as Script Supervisor last March. I am bummed about that, there are some people who will be there that I'd like to see. But sometimes you just gotta make choices, ya know? But I am psyched to be working with Steve.

While out here in Seattle, we had a little screening of "Smalltimore" for Tobey and a few of his friends, since Tob can't make it to Charm City for the premiere. It was well-received, and a fun night, but his friend Jesse who screened it for us has a sick stereo system and I could hear where I've not done such a great job on the sound in some patches. Sound is SO. DAMN. HARD. But I don't have the $$$ to get it mastered. Grrr. I'll figure something out.

In other news, I may be losing my day job soon, but amazingly enough I am not all that stressed about it. In a perfect world, I won't lose it until I get a sizable chunk of my credit-card debt paid off, but this world ain't all that perfect. We'll see. If it does happen sooner than later, it will give me more time to work on the next script. I have written a four-page outline and have a good idea of what I want to do, but that is as far as I have gotten. Thought I'd get something done on it while I am out here, but Tobey has kept me busy having too much fun. Maybe on the plane home on Thursday!

I guess I am not worried about the job thing because (a) worrying won't change anything, and (b) my life always seems to work out the way it is supposed to. I sort of just trust the wind that carries me, and when I need to make something happen, I find a way to make it happen. I have friends that will make sure I never have to live in a cardboard box. Storage unit, maybe, but not a cardboard box! Nah, Mikey would never let that happen to me. I keep telling him, if only I could find a straight man that treats me as well as he does, I'd be set! Whenever I say this, he just rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and says, "NEVER gonna happen..."

I was in a store here today, flipping through some art prints, though unfortunately I can't remember the name of the artist. They were crude and colorful figurative drawings with very short vignettes written on them. One that particularly caught my eye seemed to precisely sum up what might be considered my own philosophy and why things that might throw other people into a panic or depression don't get to me so much:

"Everything changed when she realized that there was exactly enough time in this life to do all of the things that were very important to her."

If I wasn't soon-to-be-unemployed, I would have bought it.

Bitter Pill/Better Solution

[Al Letson in "Smalltimore," playing himself: "The Voice of Reason".}

It was the worst of news, it was the best of news... brace yourself, I am going to rip the band-aid off quickly, and it is going to sting a bit: "Smalltimore," was not accepted at the Maryland Film Festival.

Dear Filmmaker,

Thank you for submitting your film for consideration in the 2009 Maryland Film Festival. Our screening committee members have given careful consideration to all submissions. Unfortunately, your work was not chosen to be a part of this year’s Maryland Film Festival.

Over the last few years, we have experienced a dramatic increase in submissions, due in part to our association with the Without a Box entry-facilitating web site. As a result, each year we also see an increasing number of films that we were fond of but simply could not find a place for in our schedule.

We recognize that many of the entries we are not accepting have had great success at other film festivals, or will go on to do so. Please do not let our decision impact the pride and enthusiasm you have for your work. We wish you every success in your filmmaking pursuits and hope that you will keep our festival in mind in the future.


Maryland Film Festival


I found this out on Monday, actually, but I didn't want to tell anyone about it until I had some good news to tell them as well. So I did create some good news, which I'll tell you about in a sec, but then I just still didn't feel like talking about it because, you know, nursing the bruised ego. Then I was going to write about it yesterday but I realized it was April Fool's Day, and I didn't want people to think it was a joke and get their hopes up that the opposite was true, so that is why I waited until today.

It is not an easy pill to swallow, but after a few phone calls to certain friends, and a few beers, I managed to get it down. I can accept the rejection on my own behalf. "Smalltimore," is a fairly standard romantic comedy with no big stars in it, a hard sell at festivals that aren't looking for anything specific, and the Maryland Film Festival is one such festival. Other festivals I have submitted to are centric to female filmmakers, African-American (actors), Gay & Lesbian, original music, comedy, first-time filmmakers, etc... The MFF isn't looking for anything specific like that, it is a non-competitive festival - no juries, no prizes, no categories. So for me personally, it's okay, I can live with the decision, as being in the MFF would have given me another laurel to show off, but I didn't have a chance of winning any cash prizes and it probably would not help me to find a distributor for my film. But... it just would have been nice if my love letter to Baltimore were not... unrequited.

That stings a little bit, I won't lie. But after that initial disappointment, what really had me upset was to think that a single time slot could not be found for a movie that would have given so many local artists and musicians a boost. That, to me, is the part that really sucks and why I didn't want to talk about it (and still really don't, but I have to). That is the part that I don't get. And for the moment I can't say more than that or I will say things I will later regret, and as I have told you so many times, this is a very small town, so sometimes you should just keep your mouth shut so you don't burn any bridges. Hopefully I haven't done anything more than singe them a bit.

On to the good news. A few days before I found out about being rejected by the MFF, I started bracing myself for that possibility. What do I do if that happens? I didn't want to make all the people who worked so hard on the movie wait any longer to see the finished product. I came up with an idea, and within an hour of getting that unfortunate email, I set it into motion.

So, as unhappy as I was to tell you about the above news, I am equally happy to announce the first public screening of "Smalltimore," its World Premiere! That glorious event will take place on Sunday, May 3, at the Wind-Up Space. Of course I will be bombarding you with info on that soon, but the basics are, doors open at 6:00pm, movie at 7:00pm.

The Wind-Up Space is a very cool bar and multi-media space, with one large wall that is a movie screen. We filmed several scenes of the movie here. Russell DeoCampo, who owns the place, designed the space specifically to be flexible and conducive to art exhibits and performances of any kind. That is the spirit of Baltimore that I love so much and so it is very fitting that the first screening of "Smalltimore" will take place here. Plus, you can order up an icy cold Natty Boh to enjoy with the film! Can't do THAT at the MFF. And the price of admission will only be $7, less than most matinees.

I look at the whole thing as a blessing in disguise. Of course I am disappointed, being in the MFF would have given us some good press. But in the big picture, it may be better this way. I would not have received a dime from screening at the MFF, but this way I can use the movie to fundraise, so that I can afford to travel to the festivals that do accept the film. I am hoping to raise enough $$$ at this screening to cover my expenses to go to The Heart of England Festival in June, where, as you know, we have already been accepted.

So, big thanks to Russell for helping me to salvage the situation and give everyone something to look forward to. I promise it will be a great time. And thanks to the few friends I have shared this with so far who have, as always, provided me with their unwavering support. The first person I called was Al Letson (pictured above), because not only is he a dear friend and always calms me down when I am about to blow a gasket, but is one of my few friends who in this situation can speak from experience. He told me that this happens to him all the time, he receives rejections for theater festivals he should have been accepted to, to later find out that people not as talented got in because they knew someone. Coming from someone else, that might sound like sour grapes, but if you have seen any of Al's work, you know it is just the plain truth. I can't think of anyone I know who is more talented than Al.

During our conversation he talked about the possibility of me directing a screenplay he has already written, one we have talked about before. That was a very nice thing to hear, I would LOVE to direct something Al has written, that would be amazing!

Like I said, Al always straightens my head out and makes me feel better. As we were getting off the phone, he simply said, "They're assholes. I love you."

I'm not saying he's right. I'm just saying it made me feel better.

Friends With Benefits

Honing, honing, honing... I have these bursts where I can't stay away from editing and then days when I'd just rather sleep than think about it anymore. It is really coming together, though. I have put it in front of a few more people whose opinions I trust - Namely Eric, again, and now Stacie Jones-Gentzler, a local Producer/WonderWoman with Black Ink Films. Got some good feedback from them and made some more adjustments. Eric is especially great with this because he, good friend that he is, sat down and watched the whole thing with remote in hand, pausing and taking notes down to the details of FRAMES (split seconds) that he thought I should add or subtract to tighten things up. Out of probably a dozen very specific suggestions, I took his advice on all but two of them. Stacie's notes had mostly to do with sound, which I am still working on. I am glad that I have taken on that demon by myself, I have learned a lot, though probably the hard way. If a real sound engineer looked at the way I have jury-rigged some of the sound to fix problems, they would likely wonder what the hell I am doing. But, on the cheap, because I am pretty much COMPLETELY out of cash, I have found ways to patch things together so they are at least not completely jarring to the ear. Also I have three of the actors coming in on Monday to loop a few scenes that are virtually unsalvageable without doing so (God bless them!).

Collaboration is such an important part of the process, and one I really enjoy. Learning something new every day is one of my favorite things about filmmaking. I don't think any of the things Stacie or Eric told me needed to be fixed surprised me, and certainly none offended me. Especially the tiny details that Eric picked up on - these scenes bugged me but I wasn't sure how (or if) I could fix them. Sometimes you are so close to something it is hard to put your finger on the problem. You have to trust other people, and fresh eyes.

Not to say you should bend to everyone's whim. Eric, Sean, Michelle, have all made a lot of suggestions I have implemented. And each have made several that I said, no, we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one. These are three people with VERY different tastes. You can't please everyone, and never should try to. You'll just water everything down.

On Saturday, Valentine's Day, I crammed 15 people into my living room to watch an updated version of Smalltimore, though i have a newer version still nearly completed. I cooked dinner, champagne & truffle mushroom risotto, that turned out pretty damn good if I do say so myself. Several people brought other accoutrements, including my friend Elizabeth bringing homemade chocolate chip cookies (so fresh that the chips were still gooey!) and my friend/star Cheryl bringing homemade and hand-decorated heart-shaped sugar cookies. She told me she noticed a big glop of red icing on the back of her underfoot cat in the midst of this little project. Have I mentioned that Cheryl is my own Lucille Ball? She just cracks me up.

It was really nice to have my living room carpeted (literally) wall-to-wall with my friends, watching the movie. Of course, they are a partially- biased audience, but the laughs and the silences still help me to judge where it needs further tweaking.

Other cast members who were guests were Phil Calvert (Thom), Kyle Holtgren (David), and Kelly Coston (Mel). Phil has been my friend for several years, and Kyle was more of a friend-of-a-friend before being cast in the movie, but is my own friend now. Cheryl and Kelly I hadn't known before all this, but as they were leaving after our very fun night together, I said to them, this is one of the things that really makes me happy - that we can do these things, that we are friends, to whatever degree, now. There are so many people I can say that about who worked on Smalltimore, Michelle, Regina, loads of people, certainly all of the cast I am on good terms with. And that means something to me, as I told Cheryl and Kelly on their way out. It makes me feel like I did something right. I am sure there are times they were frustrated with me, and sometimes me with them, on the set, but we have a mutual respect and just enjoy each other's company, I think. Maybe I am wrong, maybe they are just sucking up to me to be in my next movie :) . But (a) I don't think so, and (b), if that is the case, that is a big fat compliment as well.

Yay! New Blog!

I am totally and absolutely drained, body and mind; but spirit and soul... my cup runneth over.

Saturday was The Big Day. The screening of the rough cut of, "Smalltimore," at the Creative Alliance. Some of the invited audience arrived before I even got there, almost half an hour before the doors were supposed to open. A steady stream of arrivals put my mind at ease immediately. It is such a blur, I'm not sure who arrived very first, but I do know that Russell DeoCampo (owner of the Wind-Up Space, who let me film there for two whole, long days) was among the first dozen. He was smiling almost wider than I was, and hugged me three times. More smiles and hugs every time someone new walked in. Everyone was so excited, and excited for me. It was so beyond any previous experience I could compare it to. I've had my "moments," before, at my annual Christmas party, or when I have had photography exhibits, or the group art exhibits I organized in 2006. But this was on a whole other level. This moment encompassed an entire year of my life. I wrote the first draft of the screenplay four years ago, and spent a good year just on the rewrites, but that was work in patches, when I felt like it. But honestly, from mid-December of 2007, my entire existence has been consumed by this project. It has changed my work ethic, my social circles, my whole life. It has changed me, as a person. That is certain.

As each of my actors, and artists, and friends who loaned me their homes and businesses arrived, I was so happy I could have burst. People kept asking me if I was nervous, but I wasn't, at all, which was sort of but not entirely strange. Before my holiday party, or an exhibit, I'm always a bit mad and I can't relax until I see a good crowd has arrived. I put a lot into those events and they have always come off successfully. I think maybe why I wasn't nervous was because all of those things have always gone well, and if I combined all the effort I put into all of them together... it wouldn't be a fraction of what went into this movie. And because this time, it wasn't just about my effort, my party, my success. There were SO many people that were a part of making this happen.

I thanked as many of them as I could in some opening remarks I gave before the screening. Starting with the people who loaned me their homes and businesses, Bill Dougherty (Dougherty's Pub), Russell DeoCampo (The Wind-Up Space), Lynn Hafner (Dionysus Lounge), Charles Lawrance (Fin Art), Phil Baty & Ron Peltzer, Caren Shelley, Greg Mirkin, and Steve Shen. Then the contributing artists, Caren Shelley, Jillian Jenkins, Allison Pasarew, Oletha DeVane, Leslie King-Hammond, Ellen Burchenal, Linda DePalma, Charles Lawrance, and Joyce Scott, as well as jewelry artists Caren Shelley, and Wayne Werner. Wayne made two custom pieces especially for the film. Getting to the nuts & bolts of the operation, my Director of Photography Michelle Farrell and her crew; my Production Crew headed by Production Manager Rebecca Clear Dean, who, among other duties wrangled the extras and an army of Production Assistant interns - and I absolutely did have to single out my "A Team" among them, Regina Guy, Corey Dillon, and David Sarmiento. These three were the first on board, the ones who were there every day, first in, last out, always did any crazy thing I asked of them with a smile on their face, in short, setting the bar for the other interns incredibly high and leading by example. And Charlie Anderson, of Stratatek Studios, who was my personal tutor on Final Cut Pro (editing), and who is not only a great teacher, but a VERY patient man.

I gave props to my amazing cast, whose onscreen chemistry was largely due to their genuine offscreen chemistry. From the greenest among them (for several, it was their first such project) to vets like Joyce Scott and Cheryl Scungio, they were all true professionals and a pleasure to work with. I have so much to say about each of them that I couldn't even BEGIN to do if we were going to get around to watching the movie, but I am going to profile each of them individually in this blog in the near future, so make sure to check back.

The soundtrack, which is not set in stone (and I met several new people at the screening who handed me their CDs and want to be involved) but will definitely include the work of T.T.Tucker & the Bum Rush Band, Joyce J. Scott, Jennifer Swartout, and Niki Lee.

Next, the "money people", the ones who wrote me very generous checks in order to bring you a much better version of the film than I could have possibly given you on my own (at least not without going into credit card debt for the rest of my life): my friend Tom Kyte - who knew that sleeping on his couch every weekend during my freshman year (my only year) at Pitt would pay off so well? Mark my words, make friends with smart people while you are young, they will be the ones with cash flow down the road... Dan Denning, who lives on the other side of the planet, but on whom one of the characters is based - I'll let you figure out which one for yourselves... my Mom, who surprised me with an unsolicited check, something that meant a great deal to me... Wayne Werner, my friend and one of several triple-threats on this production, as an Executive Producer, a contributing artist, and also Wayne is on the soundtrack via Tucker's band (the other triple threats being Joyce Scott, actor/artist/soundtrack, and Caren Shelley, artist (both sculpture &jewelry)/location/featured extra). And last but not least, my dear friend Mikey B., who not only wrote me a very generous check (and just handed me another one this week) but checked on me every step of the way, gave me full access to his cabin in the Poconos where I acomplished LOADS of work from pre- through post-production, and who was always my biggest cheerleader.

And lastly I explained to the audience the answer to the question that people ask me the most - how the hell did you pull this off, when you did not go to school for this and have never done anything like this in your life? Simple answer: I surrounded myself with people who know a lot more than I do, who were very generous with their time, who allowed me to pick their brains for hours on end, and who were always honest with me, whether it was what I wanted to hear or not. If you read this blog, you are already familiar with them - Al Letson, my dear friend who flew up from Jacksonville to be in one scene, just to give me a little "celeb cred", even though he was in the thick of pre-production of his radio program, "State of the Re:Union," that will start airing on NPR this spring... Sean Stanley, of Magic Wonder Show Productions, who, with his crew, helped me put together the initial trailer (which you can still see on YouTube - my acting debut!), and who spent many lunchtimes over the next several months, helping me tweak the script, and giving me lots of great production advice... Eric Thornett, of Piranha Pictures, who is my favorite sounding board and someone I can count on for anything at all, from moving furniture to blacking out windows to talking me down off a ledge... and finally, full circle back to Michelle Farrell, of Absolute Independent Pictures, who always went above and beyond the call of duty, always had my back and the best interests of the production at heart, and helped me pick up the slack wherever I fell short, just being green to all this, and who always, always found a way to make me laugh just when I wanted to cry (or kill someone).

What I didn't say in front of all those people, because I would have turned into a puddle of mush before their very eyes, is that especially with these people, Sean, Eric, and Michelle, who a year ago I didn't really know, what is really important to me is that they are now my friends, and if this movie goes no further, I have that and it makes everything that has happened so far worth it. That may sound very Hallmark-card, but I could not be more sincere. They are the ones who kept me sane, who propped me up, who got me through, and I will always remember them for that.

I'm not sure how long it took me to say all that, probably close to 15 minutes, but everyone gave me their full attention for the whole time. It was a strange and wonderful feeling, looking out at all these (mostly) familiar faces, people who had contributed in some way, or just friends that I am glad don't hate me for virtually ignoring them for a year. I think there were about 120 people there, it was a pretty packed house. I have spoken in front of much larger audiences than that, when I have been in London at the Awards Night of my friend Matthew's school, Songtime Theater Arts. I've presented an award there each of the last four years, as his "American liaison" that has connected him with Baltimore School for the Arts and Baltimore Theater Project. Those audiences have ranged from four hundred to SEVEN hundred people, and I can tell you that especially the first time (which of course, was the time with 700) I was so nervous that my voice, my knees (which luckily were hidden under a long skirt), and most noticeably my hands that were holding the card listing the nominees, were shaking uncontrollably. Each year it has gotten a little easier, but it is still nerve-wracking.

Saturday when I was in front of all those people, about to throw my creative soul upon their mercy, I didn't feel that way at all. The only thing I was nervous about was that I might get emotional, which is why I didn't go into sentimental detail when thanking everyone. There was so much love and support and camaraderie in that room, I felt like the luckiest person in the world. I'll admit that I did kind of lean on the stage, just in case my knees knocked. But they didn't. Not really. Somewhere in the middle of my little speech, I did think of that night in London in front of 700 people, and how different the feeling this afternoon was. My life is so different now. I am so different now. It is no exaggeration to say that this has been the most amazing year of my life. And I think the next year will have even more to come.