Dog Days

[This is my Max. You can tell he is asleep because he is not licking my hand. Or arm. Or foot.]

The last 24 hours or so have really sucked and it is both sucking my motivation to get movie-related things done and propelling me towards doing just that. I seem to do the best, and the bulk, of my work at night when no one can bother me. And since it is Halloween and everyone will be out, my phone should not be ringing and I should be able to get some stuff done. I was supposed to go to a party tonight (and last night, for that matter), but I am just not up to it.

It all started Thursday afternoon, and I am not going to get into the details of it, but work at my day job is really stressing me out, to the point that I couldn't get to sleep until almost 4:00am that night. Too much to explain, but one way or another, I am probably going to be out of a job, AND my apartment, by the end of January. Basically I am trying not to get myself fired before I get myself laid off. But they aren't making that easy.

So Friday morning I hand to have a confrontation with a few people. I had already had this confrontation two months ago, on the phone. This time it was in writing. It seems to have quieted down for the moment. We'll see.

Then in the afternoon I was googling to see how much word is out there about "Smalltimore". The good thing was, there is a lot, and it is popping up on other people's sites and pages and that's great. But also I stumbled across a review by someone who saw it at a festival, and this person ripped it apart, though they at least conceded that the production values were good. And I do agree with that person that the credits are too long and I am going to try to speed them up. But still, it was really brutal and it further soured my mood. This review was followed by someone else's review who saw it at the same festival, and that one was quite the opposite, that person loved it, so that was nice to read. But the wind was still sucked out of my sails. It is to be expected, not everyone likes everything. There are some movies out there that people go on and on about that I despise. Part of the game. Whatever.

What else... I thought my bulk shipment of DVDs and cases would have come in yesterday, and it is still not here. This is worrying me.

I was supposed to go to a costume party last night but didn't have a costume. I don't really like dressing in costume but I think it is also lame to go to a costume party without a costume. Turns out the decision was made for me. I was cat-sitting for my friend Greg (Greg generously loaned his house to "Smalltimore," it was Tony's house in the movie). I went over there to make sure Buddha had food and hang out with him for a bit. When I got there he seemed out of it, and long story short, I called Greg and ended up taking Buddha to the emergency vet. He didn't improve and they had to euthanize him this morning. Greg just lost his other cat a couple months ago, and the whole thing really sucks, though I am glad I was there to take care of Buddha.

So I get home from that ordeal and I find a man sitting in the dark in a parked car in my parking lot. I asked if I could help him and he got belligerent with me immediately. Which, of course, was EXACTLY what I needed to be coming home to at this point. He lied to me and said he was a driver for a guest at the inn. I knew this wasn't true and told him, "You need to leave, now." He replied, "YOU need to leave!" The only reason I was sure this guy wasn't TWELVE YEARS OLD was because he was a behemoth. So yea, that all makes sense, right? Park on someone else's property, and when a woman half your size who informs you she is the manager of the property asks you why you are there, become threatening. Makes perfect sense. Then I said I was calling the police. He said go ahead, call the police. Then he said HE was going to call the police. Then, I called the police. Then I called my neighbor to come over and wait with me for the police, because I just realized the guy may be nuts as well as being an asshole. The police came, and told the guy to get off the property. Sometimes I just hate people. Seriously, this guy had to be close to 50 years old and acting like that. WTF?

I'm just exhausted. Just been going non-stop for weeks now. I just need a couple nights to myself, to get things in motion for the December 9th screening, and to finish organizing the Poconos short that we are doing a week from Monday. I am not going anywhere tonight. Well, I am going across the street to help my neighbor Philip do his make-up before he goes to the party I was supposed to go to. But then I am hibernating and getting stuff done here. Just not in the mood to talk to people.

Which is why I posted this picture of Max. Max and my other Yorkie, Timmy (both can be seen in the opening scene of "Smalltimore"!), keep me sane through these kind of days. A little dog-snuggling goes a long way. Excuse me now, I need to get back to doing exactly that.

"No Rest For the Wicked...

...and the good don't need it!" That's what my old boss used to tell me, anyway. Though I think he was just trying to get me to laugh about working 70+ hours a week. To imagine I want to get out of the hotel business and into the movie business! It isn't any less work, though it is more fun, and usually does not involve making beds (though even that comes into play from time to time when dressing a set - hotel management experience really does lend itself to moviemaking!).



The above photo may not LOOK like work, and it wasn't really, but it is still movie-related and I am still doing my part to promote Baltimore as The Place To Be for indie filmmakers. The guy checking out Orpheus' bum at Fort McHenry is my friend & fellow filmmaker Adam Bronstein ("My Movie Girl", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7gQ2mCu-PE), who was visiting from L.A. Well, actually he lives in L.A. but was on the east coast because his film screened in NYC last week and he has family over here and had been visiting his Dad in NYC and his Mom & sister in Philly, so he was almost here already, but it sounds cooler to say he was visiting from L.A. than he was visiting from Philly. Though now I've gone and ruined that.

Anyway. I've mentioned Adam before, I met him at the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival in June. We stayed in touch and when "Smalltimore" screened in Anaheim he drove 2 hours through hellacious traffic to see it and did that again to come to the awards ceremony where I won Best Director. Then his movie screened in NYC last week so I went up there for that, then he came to Baltimore for 3 days to hang out. It was really fun showing him the locations where we filmed "Smalltimore" and he even got to meet and hang out with 3 of the actors.

While I was in NYC, in addition to seeing Adam I also got to see Mikey B, one of my Exec Producers, and another filmmaker, Vagabond Beaumont (http://www.machetero-movie.com/MACHETERO/Welcome.html). I had met Vagabond at my very first festival, The Heart of England FF, in June, and hadn't seen him since so that was fun. Also I went to see the Broadway show "Oleanna" starring Bill Pullman, and got to see him for a few minutes afterwords. If you go waaaay back to the near beginning of this blog (actually, the previous blog, www.charmcitythemovie.blogspot.com) you can read about Bill's influence on "Smalltimore". Too much to go into right now. Bottom line, he is a great guy, and has been a great cheerleader and very supportive of my efforts as I elbow my way into this world.

The day before getting to NYC I went up to Mikey's cabin in the Poconos with Michelle and her girlfriend/AC/right arm Megan, to do some pre-production for the new short we will be shooting in November. That was both fun and very productive, and we are all feeling really good about this project. In less than 3 hours from the time I am writing this, the two actresses in the short are coming to my place for our first read-through. I love this part of the process. Not everyone does this. I like to have this time to give my actors some input. I believe it strengthens the characters if the actors are given a chance to tweak them just a little, to work out any dialogue that might not come across as naturally in life as it does on the page, and to give the actors time to question me about the background of the characters. It helps them to own the part, as well as giving them a sense of ownership in the entire process. When we were doing the table read of "Smalltimore" last summer, several of the actors commented to me that it was very cool to have their opinions considered. That doesn't mean I changed everything they suggested, it is just that actors so rarely are asked for input, and they appreciated being heard. As a director it gives me a better handle on where they are coming from, and for the actors it gives them a chance to become comfortable with me and my style.

Of course there is a whole lot more going on on top of that. Last night was the Members' Committee meeting at the Creative Alliance, where we screen films that have been submitted for the next 4 months of programming and weigh in on if we think they are a good fit. Tonight I am going to go over some materials that were sent to me by Li Zhu, who I have worked with on a couple other projects and I will be helping her with casting her new short. I really love casting. It is like Christmas shopping to me, finding the perfect actor for the part is like finding the perfect gift for a friend. When it is perfect, you just know it, and there is such a satisfaction in that.

The big deal, of course, is the "Smalltimore" screening at The Charles Theater six weeks from now. I have to get together with Kyle Holtgren ASAP, he is going to help me design some marketing materials and cover art for the DVD, and I will probably have to get Cheryl Scungio to come in for a photo shoot so we can slap her smiling face on the cover and posters, since she's my lead.

Then there is figuring out how many DVDs to make and how to make them. I ordered the DVDs and cases in bulk yesterday, and dropped off the check for the theater rental the day before that... it is no joke that you have to spend money to make money. Actually, the saying should be, "You have to spend money to have a snowball's chance in hell of breaking even," but I guess that is not as catchy and slightly discouraging. Economics is so very... inconvenient. If I want to make 600 duplicates of the DVD, I can pay someone else to do it and spend $700-$1,000. Or I can buy a low-end DVD duplicator for about $1,300, not including ink cartridges. Or I can buy a better one for about $2,000. Or I can try to burn 25 DVDs a day from my laptop for the next month and hope that that doesn't kill my very expensive laptop. Which is the only option that at this moment I can actually AFFORD.

Buying the duplicator makes the most sense and it would pay for itself if I sell enough DVDs in the not-too-distant future. I just don't have the money to do it, not even on credit right now. So the best I can come up with for the moment is, start off burning DVDs from my laptop for the next 3 weeks, make only the minimum payment on my credit cards this month from my first paycheck and then with the remnants of my first November paycheck and pretty much all of the second November paycheck, buy the duplicator and I'll have it about 2 weeks before the screening date and have time to make a couple hundred on that, before killing my laptop. And then everyone I have ever met needs to buy at least two DVDs of "Smalltimore". This means you.

I am not saying all of this to complain, and it will work itself out, I always find a way. I am just saying this because that is what this blog is for, to let you know everything that goes into all of this, not just the fun and sexy parts that result in a decent final product or big event. There is a lot of elbow grease, and a lot of cold, hard cash, that go into both.

Not to mention time! Somehow in the month of November I have to pull all of this off, including casting for Li and shooting this short for 3 days in the Poconos. Oh, and on December 12, three days after the screening, I am teaching a pre-production class at the Creative Alliance (http://www.creativealliance.org/events/eventItem1985.html), and I need to prepare for that.

Well, I have to go get ready for the table read now. Put some snacks and drinks together for my actors (Megan Rippey and Julia Broder, if you're curious), and read over the script again to mentally prepare myself. It is a heavy drama and it will be interesting to me to see the difference in this type of table read. The one for "Smalltimore," was a blast, 15 people sitting around the table laughing our heads off. This time, just three of us, and one of the actors (Julia) I haven't even met in person yet, I cast her from seeing her at the Stonehenge auditions.

I think if I ever decide to get out of the filmmaking circus I might... join the circus! It is sort of like that, so much going on at one time, making sure each ring is under control and operating smoothly. Either that or firefighting. Lord knows I have enough experience putting those out! I probably wouldn't meet the height requirement, though.

More semi-incriminating photos of Adam Bronstein will soon be posted on the Smalltimore, the Movie Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Smalltimore-the-movie/54159809709?ref=ts. Keep up to date with Smalltimore happenings both there and here!

SMALLTIMORE DVD Release & Screening!

[Cheryl Scungio, Johnny Benson, and Kelly Coston in "Smalltimore"]

I have been ridiculously busy and surprisingly productive lately, speaking at the film class at UMBC, applying for some local film-related fellowships, writing my film resume, finishing the script for the new short, going with Michelle to Mikey's cabin to do some pre-production for that short, scouting locations for the short AFTER that short (not yet written, still brewing), going to New York to see my friend Adam's film, "My Movie Girl", at the CMJ Festival (I submitted, too, didn't get in :( but very happy to be there to support Adam!), but most importantly, nailing down the big screening and DVD release of "Smalltimore" at The Charles Theater!

"Smalltimore" Screening & DVD Release
Wednesday, December 9th
7:00pm at The Charles Theater
1711 North Charles Street, Baltimore

RSVP here via Facebook to the Social Event of the Season! All are welcome!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=191001070349&index=1

There will be an EPIC post-party very close by, immediately following the screening. Details to be announced soon. Hope to see you there!

I am exhausted, but will write more when time permits. Enjoy my brevity for the moment, we both know it won't last :)

Racking Up the Credits

[Mikey's cabin in the Poconos, the location of my next short film, being shot later this month.]

How did I get so busy? Ya know, I have to stop asking myself that. I accepted a long time ago that at this point in my life there is really no such thing as "down time." If I am NOT busy, then I am in trouble...

Earlier this year, though don't ask me to pinpoint exactly when, I decided that, in addition to pushing "Smalltimore" at any festivals I could get it into (3 so far, all of which I attended this summer, one at which I won "Best Director"), I decided that I would dedicate the rest of this year to working on other people's projects in order to bulk up my resume with screen credits. Well, I got my wish. And no, I am not going to say, "Be careful what you wish for," because I am very glad to have gotten my wish, even though every moment that I take to breathe these days leaves me feeling a little guilty that I am not busy working on something.

So, what have I been up to? Well, you already know about my short, "The Red-Headed Menace," that we filmed in July and won the Judith Reinart Independent Spirit Award for in August, at the 29 Days Later Film Festival. "TRHM" screened again this past Monday at the Creative Alliance at the monthly Cinelounge meeting. That was really fun. Great turnout, loads of great feedback. After we screened, along with 2nd ("Tiny") and 3rd ("Apnea") place winners from 29 Days Later, I had to go up to the stage with the other two filmmakers for a short Q & A. It was only later that I realized that not only was this the first time I went up to a stage for something like this without my heart beating faster in a bad way, but I actually felt very comfortable and really enjoyed it. I never thought I would get to the point in my life when public speaking did not terrify me, but here I am.

Along those lines, but skipping ahead, this weekend I am preparing to speak at a class at UMBC next Tuesday taught by Kimberly Moffitt on the subject of Film in Baltimore. She is giving them the link to this blog today so thought I'd give them a little shout out. Look forward to meeting you guys! Last year Kimberly found me after reading something about "Smalltimore" online, and asked me to speak at her class last December. That was pretty nerve-wracking at first, but it turned out that I really enjoyed it. When I left that day, which was their last class before final exams, she told me that some questions on their final would be about my presentation. How cool is that? I was glad to get another call from her this year, looking forward to it. There was a time when I would have only thought of standing in front of a class like that to be pure torture, and here I am wishing I could do it more often. That is the beauty of filmmaking. You can't even imagine all the amazing lessons and personal growth that come with putting yourself out there like that until you actually do it.

But, as usual, I digress.

So, to update you on the other projects I have my hands in: last weekend I got back to work on the feature, "The Rosens," with Director Steve Yeager, though this time in addition to being Assistant Director I have also taken on the responsibility of Co-Producer, which basically means I do a bit more leg work in between filming days to help find locations, props, personnel, etc., that make the operation run more smoothly. Such as, I got Regina Guy on board to do Craft Services during the weekend shoot. Always great working with her, and partaking of her famous homemade chili :)

You already heard about "Please God, Someone Normal," so I won't recap that again. Other projects I have been asked to participate in but as they are still in early pre-production I have yet to get my hands very dirty, but will before year's end: one of my Production Assistant interns from "Smalltimore", Shernay Williams, is producing a short with her writer/director brother, and I will be doing some consulting with them next week and possibly through the length of the project, due to be shot in November. Another PA intern, but this one from "Ju-Ju: The Witch Doctor Chronicles,", Li Zhu, who also served as Assistant Camera on "The Red-Headed Menace" is preparing to shoot her thesis piece for Stevenson University and I will be doing some consulting and likely some production work for her. Normally, I would not be excited about working on a student film, but Li is such a perfectionist and I know that she has such a sharp eye that she will make certain that her piece is flawless, and I know the final product will be something that I would be happy to have my name associated with. Shernay's project as well. I read her brother's script and I think it has great potential.

So, there are a couple more screen credits. I wouldn't do just anything for screen credits, though, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't let my name be put on something unless I was proud to be a part of it. Another project that is very early in the works is an untitled short by Craig Herron. It will be heavy on the computer-generated effects and I haven't worked on anything like that before and I am looking forward to that getting off the ground. I will likely help with the script and on the production side.

Production isn't really what I want to get into, but I am good at it and there is a demand for those who are. It is problem-solving, creative thinking, event planning, and putting out fires. Pretty much exactly what I have been doing in hotel management for the last 20 years.

And finally, once again I am creating my own slew of screen credits by writing, producing, and directing another short, tentatively titled, "Skeletons." Michelle Farrell and I are teaming up again to shoot this at my friend (and one of my Executive Producers from "Smalltimore") Mikey's cabin (above photo) in the Poconos. "Skeletons," is a very heavy, dramatic piece with only two actors, so it will be very different from my previous work. I am looking forward to the challenge, and to challenging Michelle (i.e., driving her crazy) to make this no-budget short look like a million bucks.

On top of all that, I have been writing up proposals and filling out applications for a couple of local fellowships that could, if they so choose, award me with film gear and work space. Don't want to go too far into that and jinx it, so I'll let you know the outcome.

But the thing about those fellowships, and about the big hopes I have for what will be going on in my life a year from now (more on that after January, don't want to jinx that either), is this: bottom line is, it doesn't matter. I want these things, I really want them, I feel I deserve them and I could do justice to the people who might award me these things by giving back to them a quality product which is really their goal, to help an artist to do exactly that, and they would make meeting my own goals a whole lot easier, but the bottom line is: I will do it with or without them.

I am not saying that in a way to thumb my nose at anyone, that is not what I mean. What I mean is that, if you are going to do something like this, you just have to freaking do it, and you can't depend on anyone to help you get it done. I spent over a year, after deciding to make "Smalltimore" a reality on screen, thinking that I was dependent on other people who knew more than I did helping me to get it done. It was not until several people along the way did not live up to my (possibly ridiculous) expectations did I say to myself, screw this, I AM getting this done, one way or another. And I did.

Once I did that, as I have talked about before, other people that I had not expected to help me stepped forward and gave me support that I could not have dreamed of asking for. That's the way it goes. But you can't count on that either. You just have to move forward. None of this is brain surgery. All of it is hard work, and getting your hands dirty. The trick is to be above nothing. That is what gets people's attention, and respect.

Big in Japan

[At the Indie Fest Awards with Sotu a.k.a. the CannibAlien, whose short "CannibAlien" also won]

I promised on the STM Facebook page that the next posting would be about the photo on this link:

http://ameblo.jp/cannibalien/image-10344096510-10255080138.html

I can't seem to copy & paste the pic, which sucks because I really love this pic! It is even better than the one above. Everything on the page is in Japanese, though, so I can't tell if there is a way to do it that I can't figure out.

Well, ALMOST everything is in Japanese. The caption of this photo reads "CannibAlien Can't Eat Rat". I was quite taken aback by this. I thought maybe Sotu thought it was a page I would never see and he was outright insulting me! This hurt my feelings, because he was very nice at the film festival and I talked to him several times. But finally I found that using one of the buttons that are in Japanese, I could scroll through other pictures of him with the mask at the awards night, and in all of them, he was pretending to eat some screaming person, and under each, the caption was, "CannibAlien Can't Eat Rat." Maybe it is a generalization about Americans, or maybe this is a ridiculously funny joke in Japan that just doesn't translate. Couldn't tell you.

Without rehashing everything I have already told you about Indie Fest and how weird it was to be in freakin' Disney Land by one's self, I do want to tell you a little about Sotu (as I only know a little about him). I believe he is the writer/director on CannibAlien, but I am not sure because his English was limited (though 100% better than my Japanese), and that is not the name on the credits.

I think Sotu was the only other filmmaker at the fest who was traveling by himself. The first day, he asked me where the sign-in table was and I pointed it out to him. The second night, I was standing in front of the theater waiting for the nightly Disney fireworks to start. He was nearby and kept looking at me. I knew he wanted to talk to me, but since for the first day and a half no one was really socializing, I was sliding dangerously deep into solitary mode. All these things were going through my stupid head,

Jeanie, for pete's sake, just talk to the poor guy, he obviously wants to talk to you, and I don't think it is in a hitting-on-me way at all, I am not getting that vibe, he's just alone, like you, in this weird place, which is even weirder for him because it is a foreign country, just give him the green light to say hello, you are probably looking like a stuck-up bitch right now, just SAY SOMETHING,

He kept lurking about and finally started talking to me, and I think we were both relieved. After that, it was all good and when we would run into each other at the fest we would smile and chat for a minute, and I was very happy for him when his short won because it was honestly REALLY good and he seemed to relax and have a lot of fun that night.

I just flipped back through the posts I wrote from Indie Fest, and I can't believe I didn't mention Bob Keiper. He is an actor who had a short in the fest. I met him at the Opening Night Party, while we were in line waiting to go into the ballroom at the Disney Hotel. He is an older gentleman, and asked if he could cut in line with me, his family was already inside. We exchanged vital movie-related stats while we shuffled slowly to the door, and once inside, he invited me to sit at the table with him and his wife and the director and producer of his movie, "A Dance of Two". Bob lives in Northern Virginia and we had a lot to chat about, and I spent a good bit of time talking to his very sweet wife, also. They both talked about how Bob was not usually very outgoing in a crowd of people that he doesn't know, so it is hard for him to force himself to network. Of course I said, me, too! Later, Bob and I walked around a little bit and did exactly that. It was easier to do it with someone who felt the same way. I've taken that walk sometimes with people who are VERY good at schmoozing and I can sometimes become a shrinking violet in that situation. But here was Bob, who has not only got a few years on me but is also SAG, and he is just as shy as I can be when I am out of my element! To have a compatriot in that situation made it a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable.

When I first got my feet wet in the biz, I thought I was the only one who felt that way, but in talking to a lot of filmmakers, I have found out that it is really the norm. We're all in the same boat. We are in an unfamiliar city, sometimes even in an unfamiliar country, putting ourselves on display via our films, waiting to be judged, hoping for the best and almost constantly just wishing someone would talk to us.

At the Heart of England Festival, my first, it was cool because everything was so contained, and none of the other filmmakers had brought a traveling companion, and most of them were American, so we just automatically hung out together. In Philly, I was a bit overwhelmed, it was much larger, much more spread out, social gatherings every night, and everyone was rabidly marketing themselves. Mikey was there with me, and in retrospect, I will admit I used him as a crutch and was not nearly as social as I should have been, though I did meet several people there with whom I am still in touch.

But Indie Fest really sealed the deal for me in a way, and it is frustrating to me now to not have another festival lined up because now I think I've got it. I met some people there who made some GREAT movies, and some of them had rather large groups with them, but they seemed really happy when I would make the rally call, "Let's go have a drink at the House of Blues!" Winning Best Director gave me more confidence in my abilities in that capacity, but attending these festivals has given me immeasurably more confidence in my self, and I am finding myself to be comfortable more and more often in situations that not that long ago would have completely stressed me out.

Some filmmakers put WAY too many expectations on the festival circuit, and others think it is a load of crap and there is little to be gained from it. The people who keep their respective faiths at those opposing extremes are missing much of the point and most of the fun, in my opinion. I went into this with no delusions of grandeur, and personally, I think they were worth every penny.

....But It Wouldn't Mean Nothin'...

[Top, A.C. Abbott, writer/director of "Disowning Claire," one of the funniest and best films I saw at Indie Fest 2009 in Anaheim; Below, Indira Somani, who won Best Documentary for "Crossing Lines" at the Heart of England Film Festival, my female compatriots within the Boy's Club of filmmaking.]

[p.s. new pics of Indie Fest 2009 can be seen on the Smalltimore, the Movie Facebook page. Click the link on the right, and become a fan if you haven't already!]

Wow, it has been really nice to have a few days without having, as in, being obligated, to do anything movie-related. And yet, I keep doing movie-related things. Sunday I attended the Stonehenge auditions at the Creative Alliance, Monday I attended the CAmm Cage Happy Hour at the Creative Alliance, and last night I attended the premiere of the new Kevin Kangas film, "Bounty," with my filmmaker friend Eric Thornett, who I do not see nearly enough of these days.

After the movie, which I did enjoy, for the record, Eric and I caught up with each other as well as some of the Usual Suspects, a.k.a. fellow filmmakers, producers, and actors that we know, over drinks at the Club Charles. Eric knows Kevin fairly well but hadn't seen him in ages. Eric actually "appears" in Kevin's new movie, albeit via a "Wanted" poster, and a deranged voicemail message on an answering machine (Eric's screen credit reads, "The Taunter").

In keeping with the Zero Degrees of separation that is the Smalltimore tradition, particularly in the microcosm that is Baltimore indie filmmaking, Johnny Benson ("Bentley" in Smalltimore), also "appears" in "Bounty," and funny enough, also only via his voice. Johnny was present at the screening in his signature Vampirate regalia.

Now Eric and Kevin have been doing this movie stuff a LOT longer than I have been, but I couldn't help but be a little jealous of their rapport and camaraderie, with each other and with other actors and producers there that I know or know of through various channels. It is like a fraternity, complete with lots of crazy war stories. Fun to listen to, but somehow I felt a little left out.

It reminded me of when I first got to know Eric and his entourage, and for that matter, even before that when I got to know Sean Stanley and his crew. It amazed me then, and still does, how much people will do for someone else (for free) when they believe in that person and their vision. I think I have talked about that here before, but I really wanted that, I really wanted to build that for myself, and I still do.

The other thing is that, filmmaking, no matter where you go, is largely a Boy's Club. I'm not crying about it, I am just telling it like it is. And sometimes, as a woman traveling in those circles, it can feel a little lonely. It isn't easy to explain exactly what I mean, but I'll try.

The thing is, it is not even about how men and women relate to each other. It is that men relate to other men differently than women relate to other women. Guys who are filmmakers are like... guys who are football fans. Or guys who play guitar. Or World of Warcraft. Guys who share a common and all-consuming passion like that develop bonds that can make someone who is not yet fully vested, so to speak, feel like an outsider. Like you're the only one in the room that doesn't know the secret handshake.

And women... we're (a) just wired differently, and (b) there are far fewer of us in the mix. Although there were a couple - and by couple, I mean that literally: there were TWO, besides myself - female filmmaker types at the post-party, namely Stacie Jones-Gentzler and Elena Moscatt, two super-smart women who are very cool to boot.

I hadn't thought about it before, but I think it does say a lot for a woman to be able to keep her footing in this industry. Now that I think about it, I can honestly say that I don't know any half-assed female filmmakers. The ones I know are very strong, smart, visionary women who don't take any shit, and also, unlike a lot of men that I meet in this realm, do not have delusions of grandeur, and don't let their egos get the better of them. At the festivals I have attended over the summer, with only one exception (ask me in person and I'll tell you what movie NOT to see if it comes to a festival near you), the pieces by female filmmakers were often the cream of the crop. But I have seen a lot of mediocre (and worse) films and shorts by the same men who pat me on the head and tell me how much I have to learn. And I silently thank them, for I do indeed learn from them - what NOT to do.

I do feel that my own "entourage" is beginning to gel. People like Regina Guy, who I know I can count on for absolutely anything, and Michelle, of course. The three of us working together is what gave me the idea for the title of our short, "The Red-Headed Menace." Michelle and I are going to shoot another short soon, I can't WAIT. And I have a lot of both male and female actors that I know I can call on at any time and they will give me their all, and production assistants, too.

Anyway... do NOT get me wrong, I have met some amazing men who have bent over backwards for me, such as Eric, Sean, and Charlie Anderson. And most of the time I don't mind being a woman in this man's world of filmmaking. I have always liked standing out in certain ways. I was always the shortest person in my class in school, and I liked that. I like having the name Jeanie, because there aren't that many of us, and very few in my age group. I always liked having green eyes. And I've liked having red hair... um, since 2003.

And really, I am not complaining, just observing, while I have a few minutes to breathe and reflect on the whirlwind that has been this summer. I am happy to be where I am, and even though I might have had a few girlie "moments" after Kevin's premiere, you know what? There were people there who had never met me who knew who I was and knew about "Smalltimore," though they hadn't even seen it. Move over, boys. I'm not leaving anytime soon.

Somewhat Normal

Hey there. Another long-ish period of silence, but with good reason. I was pretty beat when I got back from California, plus had to catch up on the Day Job. On top of that, just before I left for Cali, I had agreed to take the position of Production Manager/Assistant Director on a short film called, "Please God, Someone Normal," filming in Arlington over Labor Day weekend. That meant that while I was in California trying to promote "Smalltimore" and meeting as many people as possible, I was also doing pre-production for PGSN. I was in contact with the Director, Jonathan Reed, almost daily, plus Michelle, who was DP and referred me to Jonathan for the job.

Friday, September 4th was the first day of filming. Jonathan treated me and Michelle like gold, even putting us up in a very nice hotel the night beforehand so we didn't have to face the hellish weekday morning drive between Baltimore and Arlington. He even found us a pet-friendly hotel so I could bring my dogs and not impose, again, on my neighbors Phil & Ron, who had just finished dogsitting duty while I was in California for 10 days.

The script was 15 pages, and is a comedy. I thought it was cute when I read it, but I wasn't sure if we could pull off all the big shots Jonathan wanted to really pull out the laughs. But it turned out to play out even funnier than it read, and Jonathan was really flexible with the actors and when he or Michelle would think up something funny on the spot, we would throw it in and give it a try.

Jonathan had flown in two friends of his from L.A. who are comedians, Steve (I never got his last name), and Noel ElGrably. They were a lot of fun and kept everyone rolling. There were so many takes during which it was nearly impossible for people not to laugh while we were filming. It is going to be a long time before any of us can think of a quesadilla without hearing techno music in our heads and picturing Noel (in the gayest voice ever) chanting, "Quesadilla, quesadilla," while sashaying and trying not to let his junk fall out of his booty shorts. You had to be there.

We were only shooting 3-4 pages a day, but that allowed us (a) to have time to set up some AMAZINGLY gorgeous shots, and (b) to actually wrap each day in 12 hours (thought we worked EVERY minute of it). In "Smalltimore" I learned to love the jib-on-a-dolly shot. In "PGSN" I got to witness a jib-on-a-dolly-on-a-ramp-built-of-plywood&apple-boxes! Impressive.

Yesterday, last day of shooting, we were woefully behind schedule at a location, the L.A. Bar & Grill on Columbia Pike. Jonathan thought we'd be done by 3pm, which is what he had told the bar owner originally, but we didn't get out of there until after 5:00pm. I was stressed and trying to move it along but there were several shots we really couldn't live without. The owner didn't get upset about it, even when he had customers start coming in at 3pm. Since we were still shooting, sometimes a Production Assistant would hold his customers outside for a minute while we finished a shot. From 3pm to 5pm I tried not to sound apologetic but at the same time not sound bitchy when I yelled, "QUIET!" before every take. As PM/AD, though, it is definitely not my job to make sure everybody likes me. They just need to listen to me. I'm okay with that, and everyone was very cooperative. I have been in that same situation, on a shoot in a bar where we are still filming after real customers come in, and either people won't be quiet, or worse, they will not only NOT be quiet but will complain loudly about how they didn't come into a bar and pay for their beer so that they can be told to shut up.

But the customers were really cool, we did not have to do a single re-take because of customer noise. When we were about to do the last shot before shooting cutaways that didn't need sound, I announced, "This is our last take with sound! Thank you so much for your patience!" and I heard one customer say, "That's okay! It was kind of cool to watch."

I forget that sometimes, that people who have never done this always, always find it fascinating. That is one of the most fun things about filmmaking - everybody wants to talk about it, all the time! People who do it love to talk about it, people who don't do it love to talk about it.

I am a Gemini, as you may or may not know, and according to my horoscope, September 4th (first day of shooting PGSN) was supposed to be a banner day in my house of career, whatever that means, and supposedly a lot of doors to future successes were to be opened for me that day. It was a fantastic shoot, and I hope and expect it will lead to other great things. It was such a pleasure to work with Jonathan, Tina, Kerry, Eddie, Jack, Patrick, Scott, Ricky, Lexy, Kenny, Cindy, Skylar, Megan, Noel, Steve, Jasmine/Kate, Sara/Heather, Marcus, Edan, Travis, Erinn, Will, and as always, Michelle. Seriously, it is a rarity to work on a set where there isn't even one single person who was lazy or unpleasant. I was very surprised to find out that the lead actress, Kate, as well as the Chief P.A. (who was more like Assistant Production Manager) Tina, had never done this before. They were total pros and on point at all times, as was everyone. I SINCERELY hope we all get to do it again sometime, and sometime SOON!